Sailin' On

My blog has evolved.

Please update all your links, etc. ;)

Ooga Booga

I'm officially an Ooga Booga.

I know...hard to believe isn't it? Actually, I'm pretty sure there's nobody out there reading this that has the slightest idea of what the hell an Ooga Booga even is. And well, I'm not going to elaborate on this "secret society" because I've been sworn to secrecy by the chief, and would rather not lose my Ooga booga status having endured the trials and tests presented before me.

After the ceremony which was extremely entertaining, I drank numerous cups of skyy vodka and fruit punch while gathered around a fire. One of the guys had a guitar, and, so, he and I clumsily strummed the guitar and sang tunes for the circle of friends that had gathered.

Because it has been so long since my guitar was even out, and that it was not a classical acoustic, (vodka didn't help the situation) I had to restart Def Leppard's "Two Steps Behind" at least five times.

The song was thoroughly enjoyed by all, and I was encouraged to learn more songs for next years gathering.

I woke up about 6:30 AM this morning sick as a fucking dog. It was probably the worst hangover I've had since the first time I drank vodka. So bad was my hangover, that I shuffled past the canoes and tipis in a rarely seen attempt to brave the port-o-pottie for some fast relief.

I left around 7:30, tossing everything from rolled up hoodies, to incense burners and my digital camera into the back of my car into an atrocious heap.

I made my way down the road that snakes down the mountain, and came home just in time to blow chunks into the toilet. I heaved like a cat with a hairball, back arched, sunburnt arms coiled around the seat like it was a long lost child. Vomit burned in inner linings of my nostrils as I chilled in a cool shower before flopping onto my bed in my boxer shorts, passing out until almost 1:30 this afternoon.

I'll post pictures when I can muster up the energy to clean my car out, and find those floppies.

Day 2

Well...camping is going well. I slept a lot better last night, curled up in my sleeping bag, the soft glow of everyone's campfires transposing warm light on the outside of my tent.

What would be nice though, is to have someone in there with me. I kept envisioning someone; our arms pretzeled around one another, listening to the chorus of frogs as we cuddled.

Haha...so yeah, as that was the very last thing I thought about before finally falling asleep, I had weird dreams involving sexual proposals from an ex on a large glittering staircase.

As far as all this camping stuff goes...I am taking pictures. But they'll have to wait until I actually have time do upload them.

Off for a shower, then back up the mountain I go.

Mountain Man?

I'm on vacation this week. Last night was night one of camping in the mountains with family and friends at the lake. I've caught six chain pickerel, one largemouth bass, a pumpkinseed sunfish, and a hankerin' for mountain pies.

This is the life

I come home daily to bathe (my inner homo won't let me go a day without it)- and I will update you all daily with photos, and stories as they occur.

I'll fill you all in tomorrow...

> life

Calories Burned: 300 today + 565 yesterday

So after a two day break from the gym (due to a work/gym schedule conflict over thwe weekend)I went up and buzzed around for a few hours Monday, lifting and then burning 565 calories on the cardio equipment. Today however, I didn't fare as well.

Not a morning person, I woke up in my typical "don't talk to me" mode. To add to the emotion, my father was being a prick, and my mom rather naggy. Realizing a situation gone sour, I felt obligated to hurry to the gym before I had to go to work and get in my daily workout.

Fuck.

By the time I got there and hopped on the recumbant bike, I could feel extra burn in my leg muscles, and just seemed tired. Tired as in...I wanted to curl up and sleep some more. The burn ensued, and I completed my 20 minute rolling hills program before doing some ab crunches. After the abs, I shuffled over to the elliptical and half-heartedly engaged in the weight-loss program, of which I only did about 15 minutes worth. I had no motivation, no energy, and was in the wrong frame of mind.

Giving up on that, I headed over to the recumbant bike again, and tried reading a magazine simultaneously.

Didn't work.

My water exploded when I attempted to open it (it was frozen) and I simply didn't want to be there today. So, I said fuck it. I stopped at about 300 calories burned, and figured I'd burn the remainder at work tonight doing trash and flitting around like the worker bee I am. So, I left. Dissapointed in myself. But too tired to really fight the whole idea.

----

So my grandma comes into the house, with my grandfather.

Some of you know the story of how he's turned abusive in recent years. He's going crazy, and we all know it. Some of us are still in denial, but ever since he had cancer, things are not the same with him.

For a short period last year, we had him put away for a psychiatric evaluation. They let him out eventually, and my grandma (who seems to be bent on sticking by his side despite his hatefulness, and abusive behavior) went right back to living with him.

Well today...yeah...she comes in....and there's bruises on her arm. A big black and blue lump, and a burn. He slammed her against the stove. Now, our local hospital has records of her being abused by him, and if she goes back he'll be in big trouble. (Good for'em.)

So now everyone is like...what the fuck are we going to do now? It's constant turmoil in this family anymore. No peace. And then when we take action, my grandmother returns to the situation putting MORE stress on everyone.

Her reasoning? Because she feels like she's abandoning her sick husband.

I can remember a day when there was total love in the family. You know...the days when I didn't wake up wondering if my grandma wasn't going to be found beaten to death.

> me, the clerk

Ugly welfare lady comes in demanding cigarettes without a shred of manners. Not so much as a please. I mean, it's expected of me. Afterall, how are they going to get their 400 + dollars in groceries if I'm not working to put money in their foodstamp card?

"Jack lights in a box?" I kindly ask.

"Yes." she snaps.

"How about a set of dentures, you toothless hag?" I mumble almost silently under my breath as I turn to carry out her demand.

---

Yesterday as I was working the espresso bar making frozen mochas, and a wildberry banana smoothie, when one of the girls waiting decided it would be acceptable to eat a straw.

I'm not fucking kidding. She chewed the goddamn thing up into pieces, and swallowed it.

No...no no no no no. How the hell do you get so fucking stupid?

Weirdos.

> Luigi

I come home from work last night to find that my italian greyhound Luigi opted for a nice run across the neighborhood. While I was at work, my parents had enbarked on chase that would last nearly 45 minutes in their feeble attempts to catch what is listed as the fastest canine on the planet.



Everyone say hi to Luigi.



The veterinarian says Luigi is the perfect weight. He's in great shape, and well...has more fun chasing the cats around the house in circles than the cats do [undoubtedly] trying to outrun him.

Off to work...

> life

Two days of gym skipped because of work. THAT sucks! Monday I'll be trying to make up for lost time to keep everything going smoothly. Luckily, my calorie intake was very low today, and I burned some calories at work flying around like a busy worker bee.

Work flew by in the blink of an eye, all thanks to coffee and splenda. If I were to guess, I'd say about six cups worth of European dark roast coffee, with whole milk and four packets of splenda each. I had the biggest caffeine buzz of my life as I flew around doing all sorts of tasks in record time. Ten-thirty came before I really expected it. But I might add that I am now ready to crash and burn in my bed to writhe in my sheets dreaming of Mr. Sideburns as he delicately wipes the bakery case.

Delicious.

Speaking of Mr. Sideburns, I work with him Wednesday. Not for more than a few hours, but I work with him, and that in itself is worth going to work for. Those cute littler perky ears, that boyish smile...and a handshake that made my heart palputate. That was some good stuff. Better than any caffeine rush.

Now comes the delicate task of finding out about his sexuality. Does he sway? Is he gay? Is there ANY chance? Or...have I just been foiled into falling in love with a super-friendly heterosexual (or worse...a closeted homo)who just happens to be outgoing and engaging. I hope to soon find out.

---

So yeah...beauty school. It's funny because I've always liked hair, and doing girls makeup, but honestly I've always been more boyish in my hobbies and habits. (For a gay boy anyway.) It wasn't until recently, when my cousin Mandy graduated from beauty school that I even began to think about the possibilities of becoming a stylist, or beautician of sorts. And with the way I like to talk to people, and my creative edge, beauty school may be a more affordable way of leaving my current job behind. It would also be a job that would leave plenty of time for a social life, and well...enjoying life. It might be fun.

I can feel life changing so much since I got my car. Monday I'm going to apply as a server at a local resturant, take a resume to the job I already applied for, and go to the beauty school and find out what all becoming a student there would entail.

Who knows?

> fitness, work, etc

So no gym today because I work. I feel guilty already. Weekend gym hours don't exactly leave very much time for flexibility for those of us who work. It's all good though. A break will be good. Afterall, muscles aren't made at the gym...they're made in your off times, at home.

---

There's a new hire at work, and my GOD is he ever delicious. Seriously. I was clocked out in the breakroom chewing on a bagel and sipping coffee when he walked in and introduced himself to me, shaking my hand. Very friendly, and although one of my best [gay] friends Karen claims she doesn't have sounding gaydar alarms with him, I'm getting some very confusing vibes. There's something...I don't know what. Maybe it was just how he always smiles when we talk, or maybe it's that he addresses me by my name despite not really knowing me. Somehow, I get the vibe he knows me better than I know him.

Whatever the case, his nickname from here on out will be Sideburns. I'm not really sure how to find out if he's gay or not, or just very friendly and outgoing. He seems way more outgoing with me. Again, perhaps just wishful thinking.

---

So, I'm patiently waiting for my time to have money again. Hours are up this week a bit, so I should have spending money in a little less than two weeks. I put in my application in a couple places, and tomorrow I'm going to put in for another. It's nice to have such freedom of choice. I'm greatly saddened because I've missed out on the gay scene for two weeks now, and it's probably going to be at least one or two more before I can hit up the gay club in State College.

I had so much fun there. So many cute guys. A ton of compliments coming my way. It felt good to, for once, be around my own kind. You know - rather than be stuck in some little redneck bar here in town where I'm constantly worried I'm going to get beat up or shot with a double-barrel shot gun.



I'm at this stage where guys are hitting on me, but I'm kind of passing their offers in order to play the field a bit. I want to see just what I'm capable of. It sounds superficial, and if the right person comes along...I don't know...I might give them a try. But seriously, with my new found freedom, and progressive weight loss (I can tell a difference already) I'm becoming increasingly confident and don't want to be taken when mister perfect offers to give me a place to stay.

For once in my life, the possibilities are endless.

Btw...I'm thinking of going to beauty school. How gay is that?

Too Slow

I came up with a title by myself. Thanks for the help though.

Can't Sleep

Calories Burned: 504

Hmmm....I need a new blog title entirely. Something that fits me. Something that makes me comfortable, and is a name worth keeping. Satellite of Blog makes very little sense, because there is nothing at all orbital about my incoherant babbling. Natural reflections is nice and all...but I don't want to just write about my nature stuff. Something that spills a little bit of my fun and gay sides, without being glittery or cliche.

Seriously. Any thoughts?

> fitness > life

Calories Burned: 528 + resistance training

The day started off well, I thought. 528 calories burned, and that was before using any of the machines for resistance training. As I went on, I recorded my weights, the number of reps, and the number of sets to give me a visual on how well I might be doing or how poorly. HA! I was happy when I left.

Then I came home.

Hopes for a new possible job have risen, and I hopped into the shower to head down for a possible interview. I haven't even been to the place, but it's not a place you actually fill out an application. The job? A knife salesman. You make your own hours, and make your own appointments with people...and I dunno...it's something different. If nothing else, it could be a supplimentary income, but I know I get paid more than just commission so we shall see! Unfortuantely, by the time my dad got done kicking a garbage can full of ivy down the stairs, cursing and swearing at my brother, physically quarreling with my brother and speeding off into the distance declaring his hatred for all of us - four o'clock had arrived. Chances of anyone being down there now are pretty slim, but I'll give'er a go.

So yeah...brother and dad both overreact, dad attacks brother physically because brother uses the fuck word and disrespects the already moody father. Brother runs through house, breaking things...father and mother get into loud dispute before dad takes off.

What a joy living in our home. Is home really wear the heart is? OR, is it where the root of stress and anxiety is?

> music

Verizon drops sponsorship for for Gwen Stefani's "SWEET ESCAPE" tour, due to Akon's misbehavior in Trinidad.

From The Blemish:

" Rapper Akon gave a young female fan a special treat during a Trinidad show at Club Zen. Unimaginative simulated sex. The rapper, best known for his song “Smack That”, dry humped the girl every which way on stage. After a minute, Akon can be seen scuffling away prematurely. Having been used and discarded like Kleenex at a Babes of Star Trek convention, the unidentified female curled up into the fetal position and mumbled, “Best. Concert. Ever” "

Appearantly the simulated sex was with an underage girl who was in an over 21 club. Akon was unaware of of her actual age, and in my opinion it's really no big deal. But of course, when the rich and famous make an honest mistake it's a damn circus.

So, Verizon dropped sponsorship for Gwen Stefani (being that Akon is her opening act) and is now sponsoring the talentless Black Eyed Pea gone solo; Fergie.

In a new song titled "SORRY", songwriter and rap star Akon apologizes to Gwen for the misunderstanding that cost her tour a few mill no doubt. This after he already publically released an apology to Gwen Stefani for the same reason. Although the total losses are unknown at this time, it has to be pretty bad if Akon is dedicating a SONG to it.



In other news, Gwen Stefani is releasing her first perfume, called "L" (probably signifying love...in a line that will probably be followed with "A", "M", and "B" if I had to guess.) The signature scent is supposed to be a blend of both feminine and masculine qualities.

With her new scent, Gwen Stefani's iconic style goes beyond both music and fashion both, into new territories.



Gwen is featured on the ad (of course), and is looking very beautiful - soggy wet. Many a straight man's dream no doubt. (No pun intended.)



Gwen's new single, "Four In The Morning" is her (and my) favorite song from The Sweet Escape.

> fitness

Calories Burned in first week: 4,248
Today: 548

Calorie burn still going strong. Lovin' the cardio. Got a ton of new wildlife shots on my flickr account, so I'm gonna have to write about my recent nature hike after work or something.

Off for a shower!

> fitness

Calories Burned: 700 calories
Weekly total (so far): 3700 calories!!

Overshot my 3500 calorie goal by 200 already and I still have a few days to go until time is up. My cousin (and online personal trainer HA!) says I'm doing really well and that with the amount of cardio i'm doing, and any metabolic changes/diet changes I've made I've probably lost around 2 or 3 lbs. Here's hoping! (I'm not looking at the scale. A boiling pot never boils when you stare at it! Er...something!)

So yeah, off to take some pictures and hike around. Then a shower, then food, and hopefully a clean bedroom dammit!!!!!!!!!!!!! (I keep putting it off!)

> fitness / life

Calories Burned today: 616
Total so far this week: 3,000
Week ends: next Thursday

So I'm at 3,000 calories lost already this week, and I didn't start recording my calorie burnage until Thursday. That means I still have 4 days of cardio to reach my goal of 3,500 [1 lb] calories a week. And - seeing that I am overshooting my 500 calorie-a-day defecit, I am going to be well over that by the time Thursday rolls around. Take this into consideration with the fact that I did do cardio two prior days without properly knowing what to look for, or record, and you have even MORE than 3,000 calories burned. Awesome!

I'm feeling a little better today than I was last night. The whole dad thing kind of got to me but when it comes down to brass tacks the whole theory and mindset my father has isn't at all a surprise to me. This is also a person who didn't want me to register as a democrat because they were all "for the queers", etc.

Whatever the case, I've turned anger into motivation, and I'm leaning more and more toward a server job at Chilli's or some bar and grill style resturant. A lot of people have recommended me to it because I'm very personable with the public, and even a little flirtatious at times.

There would be more hours and more money to be made. Maybe this is a step in the right direction for an apartment or even getting back into college.

Just a couple of the things rolling around in my silly little mind.

Peace and love folks. Off for a shower!

> home

What started as a nice night of mountain pies and family socialization out back turned into me throwing a cup of iced tea into the fire, and storming off - dad trailing close behind with clenched fists and a sharp tongue.

It all started with discussion of my brother, and his girlfriend. We talked about how they kiss a lot, at uncomfortable times, and about mom's unpleasant surprise of catching my sibling with his hand in his girlfriend's shirt. Listening to the story, I cringed. Dad retorted with "I'm glad." It was a verbal dagger, meant to illustrate his dissatisfaction with my gay "lifestyle". He continued on to say that this behavior was a surefire sign that he would in fact have grandchildren after all. He snickered after saying this.

Hurt, I mentioned the possibility of artificial insemination someday, if not having a child ever became a big deal to me. I told him I could probably find a friend, or even pay someone to bear a child. Or...then of course there's the adoption option. Dad's response was heated, and his pupils were minuscule in his angry eyes as he clenched his teeth. He told me that it's one thing if I want to make the choice to be gay, but to bring a child into it is "fucking wrong". (And he used a local lesbian couple who have adopted as an example.) He went on to basically say I'd be written off if I did something like that. "Never under my roof!" he declared.

Forget loving parents. Forget caring. "If they are gay, no way." That's his stance, and I suppose he's entitled to it. Mine? I think I would make ten fucking times the father he has even if I was a single parent.

It was such a simple discussion. There were no raised voices initially, but suddenly it was as though my father sought an opportunity to show his true feelings on me being gay, and it was his way of venting some pressure he'd accumulated in the past 3 years. I was so livid at the barrage of insults I had accrued in a short number of time that I threw my tea into the fire. He came at me like a barbarian but stopped when I turned to face him. My mother broke it up, but in reality she really backed his beliefs with certain things she said - she played both sides in flipping on dad for being so insulting.

Anyways...my evenings ruined. I'm going to bed. I'll unleash my frustrations tomorrow on the elliptical and hopefully make up for the pizza mountain pies I've consumed.

Might go job hunting this week. I don't know.

> fitness

Calories Burned: 528

Today, I overshot my goal daily calorie loss by a mere 28 calories. Still, I over shot it. I was limited on time today at the gym or I would've stayed longer, to burn more. Tomorrow time will be even shorter, but Monday I have all day to burn it all off. I've burned well over 2,000 calories already and I still have 3 days until my first week. (I was hoping to burn at least 3500, and it seems I'll be well over that if I continue to work hard.)

I feel more toned than I've felt in a long time already. The weights, and daily cardio routines are definitely burning fat. In fact, this may sound strange, but my face and neck look slimmer already...and I haven't "officially" lost a full pound of fat yet. I suppose it's possible?

Whatever the scenario, I had a fucking whopper today. Uhm.....NOT the way to lose weight obviously, but still, I'd have had it with or without the cardio so at least I got my exercise on top of it, right?

Diet is definitely something that I need to work on. It's more challenging than ever though now that I'm exercising, because I come home ravashed and looking for food. I'm not sure if my metabolism is sped up already, but it's a possibility?

Still learning and fine tuning my routine. Fortunately the calories keep coming off, and I'm staying active.

I feel good.

Off for a hike...

Before-bed Ramblings

So I'm in this weird phase right now. It's a phase of distractions, passions, depressions, and confessions. It's a phase of get up and go rather than sit around and wait. (For once.)

Getting a car has ultimately changed my life. Strangely, I find myself uncomfortable with all the possibilities and options I now have. It's funny because it's what I've dreamed of for years, and now that it's been made available I'm kind of scared of it all. Seriously. I mean, live a life like I have and then throw yourself into all these new things. It's almost like culture shock just driving to State College by myself. I'm opening though, blooming, and turning into the person that's been trapped inside this lifeless shell for the past two and a half years.

The parents and I have been cooking out a lot. It's kind of nice spending time with them, despite recent clashes we've had over this or that. I don't spend very much time at home these days, and my italian greyhound pup Luigi has become more my father's dog than my own.

The dating pool that I've dipped into is finally beginning to churn. Plenty of opportunities seem to be throwing themselves at my feet, especially since last Sunday. I was hoping to go out this Sunday again, but I've spent all my money foolishly and have been forced to preserve what little cash I have for gas to tide me over until next pay.

My next pay is going to suck. Hours cut again. It fucking sucks, seriously. I mean, I am so drained of this job, but I try to remain optimistic. Still, favored employees recieve the most hours, and with my store manager in other areas opening other stores, there's not much I can do but bitch and moan about the new schedules.

On an off note - I took the 22nd, 23rd, and 24th of June off for some camping up on the mountain.

Artistically, I've had no passion lately. I'm too busy ironing out this new workout routine, fighting with friends, and establishing independence. Moreover, my nose is constantly to the wind, searching for love, wherever it may be. Having been introduced to the local gay communties however, I must say that it would be alarmingly easy to go home with a different guy every night. Finding someone worth it though is surely going to be another task.

Anyway...got a CD player for the car. Awesome!!!

> fitness

Calories Burned: 703 + full body workout

So of course I tackled the gym again today. I'm really lovin' it, but I cut back today so as not to burn myself out physically or mentally. I'm super enthused about the fact that I still overshot my daily calorie goal by 203 calories. I'm quickly becoming familiarized with the equipment, and now am putting thought back into another iPod to complete the cycle.

I mastered that embarrassingly awkward ab curl machine too. I'm gonna be hurtin' tomorrow. Mark my words.

> nature

I went for a hike today. With morel season having passed, I turned my eyes more toward the lush foliage, and non-morel mushrooms for photographic purposes.













For some reason there is something welcoming visually about the ferns and log in the photo below. The ferns were a different variety from the vast majority, and overall it just appeared to be a picture perfect moment in my eye.









I'm getting ready for a picnic here at the house, so I don't have time to explain the ins and outs of each. But enjoy the photos regardless!

> fitness

Calories burned today: 1157

So I went to the gym today and did a 2 hour cardio work out which featured both the reclined bicycle, and the elliptical machine. I did a work out and a half on each (a total of 2 hrs at the gym) and burned a total of 1157 calories. That's 557 calories more than recommended to lose 1 lb a week. (If you work out daily!)

For those who don't know, 3500 calories equals 1 lb of fat. So it goes without saying that the proverbial engines have been warmed and fired up, and I am now well on my way to a healthier heart, and body overall.

I was seriously sweating myself into oblivion as I watched the news on the gym television. (Paris Hilton seems to be making headlines yet again for her "get out of jail early" card.) I enjoy the elliptical machine because it's no-impact motion allows you to burn calories without destroying joints. Moreover, I'm told it seems to burn stomach fat quickly.

Whatever the case...I don't know what I weigh. I'm going to wait a couple weeks before I weigh myself. I've given the muscles a rest again because some (particularly my upper body/abs) are still quite tender from Tuesday's workout. I did some lower back exercise, and some lower ab reps before going back to the cardio.

After 1157 calories (and a nature hike still ahead of me) I opted to call it a day. Stay tuned for a blog entry on the nature hike.

Fitness

So I'm ravashed. I'm not sure if I'm a pig...or if I'm just hungry because of the exercise I've been getting...but after a peanut butter/jelly sandwhich, some pizza rolls and string cheese, I've finally curbed my cravings and am just about ready to shower and head to work.

Today was day 2 of my new workout routine...if routine is even the appropriate word for what I'm doing. I got up early enough that I could work out before going to the j-o-b. Right now I don't have any set specifics, I'm just basically going in and doing a basic full-body work out, and cardio. If I'm to be completely honest, there are still a few machines I'm not really comfortable with using, but the fitness instructor is more than glad to help me if I have questions. I'm setting the weights to a comfortable weight so that I can do about 10 - 12 reps before pausing for a break. Then I'll do one or two more reps of 10 or so, but usually no more than two reps of 10 are possible. For cardio, I just sort of hop on and set to a specific program. I've learned to program the eliptical and the reclined bicycle, but with the bicycle I've yet to finnish the 20 minute "up hill" program. It's pretty hard, and I have strong legs! That said, I'm loving the eliptical because it doesn't hurt knees and feet like jogging does.

Today, for the first time, I tackled the harder of two possible ab machines. You lay on the board, put your feet through these bars, and grab bars above your head. You then curl up like an armadillo bringing your head to your knees.

Admittingly - I could only do a handful of these torturous crunches. And by the time I was ready to try the [rather awkward] obliques exercise (by tilting the foot levers to the right or left) I didn't have the energy to pull it all together. HAHA! However abs are a big reason of why I joined a gym in the first place. I flat stomach is something I'm determined to find, and coincidentally it seems to be the goal that is farthest away. But having done just a handful of the crunches on this machine, my entire ab region is tight.

Before long I went to the other ab machine which you sit forward and use the weight resistance to your...well..disadvantage as you sit back up. This machine seems to only work the lower abs, but I still do it because it's easier and is probably a more realistic ab exercise than the previously mentioned one. I did quite a few reps on that today.

My upper arms, under arms, lower arms, chest, legs, upper back and neck, abs, and even my butt got a workout this morning! Oh yeah...and lest I forget the cardio. I feel good...sore...but good. So yeah...I've rediscovered water, the burning sensation of sweat in your eyes, and will take a break from weights tomorrow and focus on cardio for the day to let my muscles regenerate.

I'm lovin' it.