My Perfect Imperfections

And again...

2009-02-06T02:08:00.002-05:00

Yeah, I forgot about all this. I'm here now in case you missed it the first time.

Sailin' On

2007-06-24T19:48:00.000-04:00

My blog has evolved.

Please update all your links, etc. ;)

Ooga Booga

2007-06-24T15:32:00.000-04:00

I'm officially an Ooga Booga.

I know...hard to believe isn't it? Actually, I'm pretty sure there's nobody out there reading this that has the slightest idea of what the hell an Ooga Booga even is. And well, I'm not going to elaborate on this "secret society" because I've been sworn to secrecy by the chief, and would rather not lose my Ooga booga status having endured the trials and tests presented before me.

After the ceremony which was extremely entertaining, I drank numerous cups of skyy vodka and fruit punch while gathered around a fire. One of the guys had a guitar, and, so, he and I clumsily strummed the guitar and sang tunes for the circle of friends that had gathered.

Because it has been so long since my guitar was even out, and that it was not a classical acoustic, (vodka didn't help the situation) I had to restart Def Leppard's "Two Steps Behind" at least five times.

The song was thoroughly enjoyed by all, and I was encouraged to learn more songs for next years gathering.

I woke up about 6:30 AM this morning sick as a fucking dog. It was probably the worst hangover I've had since the first time I drank vodka. So bad was my hangover, that I shuffled past the canoes and tipis in a rarely seen attempt to brave the port-o-pottie for some fast relief.

I left around 7:30, tossing everything from rolled up hoodies, to incense burners and my digital camera into the back of my car into an atrocious heap.

I made my way down the road that snakes down the mountain, and came home just in time to blow chunks into the toilet. I heaved like a cat with a hairball, back arched, sunburnt arms coiled around the seat like it was a long lost child. Vomit burned in inner linings of my nostrils as I chilled in a cool shower before flopping onto my bed in my boxer shorts, passing out until almost 1:30 this afternoon.

I'll post pictures when I can muster up the energy to clean my car out, and find those floppies.

Day 2

2007-06-22T10:49:00.000-04:00

Well...camping is going well. I slept a lot better last night, curled up in my sleeping bag, the soft glow of everyone's campfires transposing warm light on the outside of my tent.

What would be nice though, is to have someone in there with me. I kept envisioning someone; our arms pretzeled around one another, listening to the chorus of frogs as we cuddled.

Haha...so yeah, as that was the very last thing I thought about before finally falling asleep, I had weird dreams involving sexual proposals from an ex on a large glittering staircase.

As far as all this camping stuff goes...I am taking pictures. But they'll have to wait until I actually have time do upload them.

Off for a shower, then back up the mountain I go.

Mountain Man?

2007-06-21T10:33:00.001-04:00

I'm on vacation this week. Last night was night one of camping in the mountains with family and friends at the lake. I've caught six chain pickerel, one largemouth bass, a pumpkinseed sunfish, and a hankerin' for mountain pies.

This is the life

I come home daily to bathe (my inner homo won't let me go a day without it)- and I will update you all daily with photos, and stories as they occur.

I'll fill you all in tomorrow...

> life

2007-06-19T12:49:00.000-04:00

Calories Burned: 300 today + 565 yesterday

So after a two day break from the gym (due to a work/gym schedule conflict over thwe weekend)I went up and buzzed around for a few hours Monday, lifting and then burning 565 calories on the cardio equipment. Today however, I didn't fare as well.

Not a morning person, I woke up in my typical "don't talk to me" mode. To add to the emotion, my father was being a prick, and my mom rather naggy. Realizing a situation gone sour, I felt obligated to hurry to the gym before I had to go to work and get in my daily workout.

Fuck.

By the time I got there and hopped on the recumbant bike, I could feel extra burn in my leg muscles, and just seemed tired. Tired as in...I wanted to curl up and sleep some more. The burn ensued, and I completed my 20 minute rolling hills program before doing some ab crunches. After the abs, I shuffled over to the elliptical and half-heartedly engaged in the weight-loss program, of which I only did about 15 minutes worth. I had no motivation, no energy, and was in the wrong frame of mind.

Giving up on that, I headed over to the recumbant bike again, and tried reading a magazine simultaneously.

Didn't work.

My water exploded when I attempted to open it (it was frozen) and I simply didn't want to be there today. So, I said fuck it. I stopped at about 300 calories burned, and figured I'd burn the remainder at work tonight doing trash and flitting around like the worker bee I am. So, I left. Dissapointed in myself. But too tired to really fight the whole idea.

----

So my grandma comes into the house, with my grandfather.

Some of you know the story of how he's turned abusive in recent years. He's going crazy, and we all know it. Some of us are still in denial, but ever since he had cancer, things are not the same with him.

For a short period last year, we had him put away for a psychiatric evaluation. They let him out eventually, and my grandma (who seems to be bent on sticking by his side despite his hatefulness, and abusive behavior) went right back to living with him.

Well today...yeah...she comes in....and there's bruises on her arm. A big black and blue lump, and a burn. He slammed her against the stove. Now, our local hospital has records of her being abused by him, and if she goes back he'll be in big trouble. (Good for'em.)

So now everyone is like...what the fuck are we going to do now? It's constant turmoil in this family anymore. No peace. And then when we take action, my grandmother returns to the situation putting MORE stress on everyone.

Her reasoning? Because she feels like she's abandoning her sick husband.

I can remember a day when there was total love in the family. You know...the days when I didn't wake up wondering if my grandma wasn't going to be found beaten to death.

> me, the clerk

2007-06-17T17:08:00.000-04:00

Ugly welfare lady comes in demanding cigarettes without a shred of manners. Not so much as a please. I mean, it's expected of me. Afterall, how are they going to get their 400 + dollars in groceries if I'm not working to put money in their foodstamp card?

"Jack lights in a box?" I kindly ask.

"Yes." she snaps.

"How about a set of dentures, you toothless hag?" I mumble almost silently under my breath as I turn to carry out her demand.

---

Yesterday as I was working the espresso bar making frozen mochas, and a wildberry banana smoothie, when one of the girls waiting decided it would be acceptable to eat a straw.

I'm not fucking kidding. She chewed the goddamn thing up into pieces, and swallowed it.

No...no no no no no. How the hell do you get so fucking stupid?

Weirdos.

> Luigi

2007-06-17T12:06:00.000-04:00

I come home from work last night to find that my italian greyhound Luigi opted for a nice run across the neighborhood. While I was at work, my parents had enbarked on chase that would last nearly 45 minutes in their feeble attempts to catch what is listed as the fastest canine on the planet.

Everyone say hi to Luigi.

The veterinarian says Luigi is the perfect weight. He's in great shape, and well...has more fun chasing the cats around the house in circles than the cats do [undoubtedly] trying to outrun him.

Off to work...

> life

2007-06-17T00:44:00.001-04:00

Two days of gym skipped because of work. THAT sucks! Monday I'll be trying to make up for lost time to keep everything going smoothly. Luckily, my calorie intake was very low today, and I burned some calories at work flying around like a busy worker bee.

Work flew by in the blink of an eye, all thanks to coffee and splenda. If I were to guess, I'd say about six cups worth of European dark roast coffee, with whole milk and four packets of splenda each. I had the biggest caffeine buzz of my life as I flew around doing all sorts of tasks in record time. Ten-thirty came before I really expected it. But I might add that I am now ready to crash and burn in my bed to writhe in my sheets dreaming of Mr. Sideburns as he delicately wipes the bakery case.

Delicious.

Speaking of Mr. Sideburns, I work with him Wednesday. Not for more than a few hours, but I work with him, and that in itself is worth going to work for. Those cute littler perky ears, that boyish smile...and a handshake that made my heart palputate. That was some good stuff. Better than any caffeine rush.

Now comes the delicate task of finding out about his sexuality. Does he sway? Is he gay? Is there ANY chance? Or...have I just been foiled into falling in love with a super-friendly heterosexual (or worse...a closeted homo)who just happens to be outgoing and engaging. I hope to soon find out.

---

So yeah...beauty school. It's funny because I've always liked hair, and doing girls makeup, but honestly I've always been more boyish in my hobbies and habits. (For a gay boy anyway.) It wasn't until recently, when my cousin Mandy graduated from beauty school that I even began to think about the possibilities of becoming a stylist, or beautician of sorts. And with the way I like to talk to people, and my creative edge, beauty school may be a more affordable way of leaving my current job behind. It would also be a job that would leave plenty of time for a social life, and well...enjoying life. It might be fun.

I can feel life changing so much since I got my car. Monday I'm going to apply as a server at a local resturant, take a resume to the job I already applied for, and go to the beauty school and find out what all becoming a student there would entail.

Who knows?

> fitness, work, etc

2007-06-16T12:25:00.000-04:00

So no gym today because I work. I feel guilty already. Weekend gym hours don't exactly leave very much time for flexibility for those of us who work. It's all good though. A break will be good. Afterall, muscles aren't made at the gym...they're made in your off times, at home.

---

There's a new hire at work, and my GOD is he ever delicious. Seriously. I was clocked out in the breakroom chewing on a bagel and sipping coffee when he walked in and introduced himself to me, shaking my hand. Very friendly, and although one of my best [gay] friends Karen claims she doesn't have sounding gaydar alarms with him, I'm getting some very confusing vibes. There's something...I don't know what. Maybe it was just how he always smiles when we talk, or maybe it's that he addresses me by my name despite not really knowing me. Somehow, I get the vibe he knows me better than I know him.

Whatever the case, his nickname from here on out will be Sideburns. I'm not really sure how to find out if he's gay or not, or just very friendly and outgoing. He seems way more outgoing with me. Again, perhaps just wishful thinking.

---

So, I'm patiently waiting for my time to have money again. Hours are up this week a bit, so I should have spending money in a little less than two weeks. I put in my application in a couple places, and tomorrow I'm going to put in for another. It's nice to have such freedom of choice. I'm greatly saddened because I've missed out on the gay scene for two weeks now, and it's probably going to be at least one or two more before I can hit up the gay club in State College.

I had so much fun there. So many cute guys. A ton of compliments coming my way. It felt good to, for once, be around my own kind. You know - rather than be stuck in some little redneck bar here in town where I'm constantly worried I'm going to get beat up or shot with a double-barrel shot gun.

I'm at this stage where guys are hitting on me, but I'm kind of passing their offers in order to play the field a bit. I want to see just what I'm capable of. It sounds superficial, and if the right person comes along...I don't know...I might give them a try. But seriously, with my new found freedom, and progressive weight loss (I can tell a difference already) I'm becoming increasingly confident and don't want to be taken when mister perfect offers to give me a place to stay.

For once in my life, the possibilities are endless.

Btw...I'm thinking of going to beauty school. How gay is that?

Too Slow

2007-06-16T12:23:00.000-04:00

I came up with a title by myself. Thanks for the help though.

Can't Sleep

2007-06-16T03:13:00.000-04:00

Calories Burned: 504

Hmmm....I need a new blog title entirely. Something that fits me. Something that makes me comfortable, and is a name worth keeping. Satellite of Blog makes very little sense, because there is nothing at all orbital about my incoherant babbling. Natural reflections is nice and all...but I don't want to just write about my nature stuff. Something that spills a little bit of my fun and gay sides, without being glittery or cliche.

Seriously. Any thoughts?

> fitness > life

2007-06-14T16:04:00.000-04:00

Calories Burned: 528 + resistance training

The day started off well, I thought. 528 calories burned, and that was before using any of the machines for resistance training. As I went on, I recorded my weights, the number of reps, and the number of sets to give me a visual on how well I might be doing or how poorly. HA! I was happy when I left.

Then I came home.

Hopes for a new possible job have risen, and I hopped into the shower to head down for a possible interview. I haven't even been to the place, but it's not a place you actually fill out an application. The job? A knife salesman. You make your own hours, and make your own appointments with people...and I dunno...it's something different. If nothing else, it could be a supplimentary income, but I know I get paid more than just commission so we shall see! Unfortuantely, by the time my dad got done kicking a garbage can full of ivy down the stairs, cursing and swearing at my brother, physically quarreling with my brother and speeding off into the distance declaring his hatred for all of us - four o'clock had arrived. Chances of anyone being down there now are pretty slim, but I'll give'er a go.

So yeah...brother and dad both overreact, dad attacks brother physically because brother uses the fuck word and disrespects the already moody father. Brother runs through house, breaking things...father and mother get into loud dispute before dad takes off.

What a joy living in our home. Is home really wear the heart is? OR, is it where the root of stress and anxiety is?

> music

2007-06-13T23:07:00.000-04:00

Verizon drops sponsorship for for Gwen Stefani's "SWEET ESCAPE" tour, due to Akon's misbehavior in Trinidad.

From The Blemish:

" Rapper Akon gave a young female fan a special treat during a Trinidad show at Club Zen. Unimaginative simulated sex. The rapper, best known for his song “Smack That”, dry humped the girl every which way on stage. After a minute, Akon can be seen scuffling away prematurely. Having been used and discarded like Kleenex at a Babes of Star Trek convention, the unidentified female curled up into the fetal position and mumbled, “Best. Concert. Ever” "

Appearantly the simulated sex was with an underage girl who was in an over 21 club. Akon was unaware of of her actual age, and in my opinion it's really no big deal. But of course, when the rich and famous make an honest mistake it's a damn circus.

So, Verizon dropped sponsorship for Gwen Stefani (being that Akon is her opening act) and is now sponsoring the talentless Black Eyed Pea gone solo; Fergie.

In a new song titled "SORRY", songwriter and rap star Akon apologizes to Gwen for the misunderstanding that cost her tour a few mill no doubt. This after he already publically released an apology to Gwen Stefani for the same reason. Although the total losses are unknown at this time, it has to be pretty bad if Akon is dedicating a SONG to it.

In other news, Gwen Stefani is releasing her first perfume, called "L" (probably signifying love...in a line that will probably be followed with "A", "M", and "B" if I had to guess.) The signature scent is supposed to be a blend of both feminine and masculine qualities.

With her new scent, Gwen Stefani's iconic style goes beyond both music and fashion both, into new territories.

Gwen is featured on the ad (of course), and is looking very beautiful - soggy wet. Many a straight man's dream no doubt. (No pun intended.)

Gwen's new single, "Four In The Morning" is her (and my) favorite song from The Sweet Escape.

> fitness

2007-06-13T14:01:00.000-04:00

Calories Burned in first week: 4,248
Today: 548

Calorie burn still going strong. Lovin' the cardio. Got a ton of new wildlife shots on my flickr account, so I'm gonna have to write about my recent nature hike after work or something.

Off for a shower!

> fitness

2007-06-11T13:16:00.000-04:00

Calories Burned: 700 calories
Weekly total (so far): 3700 calories!!

Overshot my 3500 calorie goal by 200 already and I still have a few days to go until time is up. My cousin (and online personal trainer HA!) says I'm doing really well and that with the amount of cardio i'm doing, and any metabolic changes/diet changes I've made I've probably lost around 2 or 3 lbs. Here's hoping! (I'm not looking at the scale. A boiling pot never boils when you stare at it! Er...something!)

So yeah, off to take some pictures and hike around. Then a shower, then food, and hopefully a clean bedroom dammit!!!!!!!!!!!!! (I keep putting it off!)

> fitness / life

2007-06-10T15:35:00.000-04:00

Calories Burned today: 616
Total so far this week: 3,000
Week ends: next Thursday

So I'm at 3,000 calories lost already this week, and I didn't start recording my calorie burnage until Thursday. That means I still have 4 days of cardio to reach my goal of 3,500 [1 lb] calories a week. And - seeing that I am overshooting my 500 calorie-a-day defecit, I am going to be well over that by the time Thursday rolls around. Take this into consideration with the fact that I did do cardio two prior days without properly knowing what to look for, or record, and you have even MORE than 3,000 calories burned. Awesome!

I'm feeling a little better today than I was last night. The whole dad thing kind of got to me but when it comes down to brass tacks the whole theory and mindset my father has isn't at all a surprise to me. This is also a person who didn't want me to register as a democrat because they were all "for the queers", etc.

Whatever the case, I've turned anger into motivation, and I'm leaning more and more toward a server job at Chilli's or some bar and grill style resturant. A lot of people have recommended me to it because I'm very personable with the public, and even a little flirtatious at times.

There would be more hours and more money to be made. Maybe this is a step in the right direction for an apartment or even getting back into college.

Just a couple of the things rolling around in my silly little mind.

Peace and love folks. Off for a shower!

> home

2007-06-10T00:06:00.000-04:00

What started as a nice night of mountain pies and family socialization out back turned into me throwing a cup of iced tea into the fire, and storming off - dad trailing close behind with clenched fists and a sharp tongue.

It all started with discussion of my brother, and his girlfriend. We talked about how they kiss a lot, at uncomfortable times, and about mom's unpleasant surprise of catching my sibling with his hand in his girlfriend's shirt. Listening to the story, I cringed. Dad retorted with "I'm glad." It was a verbal dagger, meant to illustrate his dissatisfaction with my gay "lifestyle". He continued on to say that this behavior was a surefire sign that he would in fact have grandchildren after all. He snickered after saying this.

Hurt, I mentioned the possibility of artificial insemination someday, if not having a child ever became a big deal to me. I told him I could probably find a friend, or even pay someone to bear a child. Or...then of course there's the adoption option. Dad's response was heated, and his pupils were minuscule in his angry eyes as he clenched his teeth. He told me that it's one thing if I want to make the choice to be gay, but to bring a child into it is "fucking wrong". (And he used a local lesbian couple who have adopted as an example.) He went on to basically say I'd be written off if I did something like that. "Never under my roof!" he declared.

Forget loving parents. Forget caring. "If they are gay, no way." That's his stance, and I suppose he's entitled to it. Mine? I think I would make ten fucking times the father he has even if I was a single parent.

It was such a simple discussion. There were no raised voices initially, but suddenly it was as though my father sought an opportunity to show his true feelings on me being gay, and it was his way of venting some pressure he'd accumulated in the past 3 years. I was so livid at the barrage of insults I had accrued in a short number of time that I threw my tea into the fire. He came at me like a barbarian but stopped when I turned to face him. My mother broke it up, but in reality she really backed his beliefs with certain things she said - she played both sides in flipping on dad for being so insulting.

Anyways...my evenings ruined. I'm going to bed. I'll unleash my frustrations tomorrow on the elliptical and hopefully make up for the pizza mountain pies I've consumed.

Might go job hunting this week. I don't know.

> fitness

2007-06-09T16:32:00.000-04:00

Calories Burned: 528

Today, I overshot my goal daily calorie loss by a mere 28 calories. Still, I over shot it. I was limited on time today at the gym or I would've stayed longer, to burn more. Tomorrow time will be even shorter, but Monday I have all day to burn it all off. I've burned well over 2,000 calories already and I still have 3 days until my first week. (I was hoping to burn at least 3500, and it seems I'll be well over that if I continue to work hard.)

I feel more toned than I've felt in a long time already. The weights, and daily cardio routines are definitely burning fat. In fact, this may sound strange, but my face and neck look slimmer already...and I haven't "officially" lost a full pound of fat yet. I suppose it's possible?

Whatever the scenario, I had a fucking whopper today. Uhm.....NOT the way to lose weight obviously, but still, I'd have had it with or without the cardio so at least I got my exercise on top of it, right?

Diet is definitely something that I need to work on. It's more challenging than ever though now that I'm exercising, because I come home ravashed and looking for food. I'm not sure if my metabolism is sped up already, but it's a possibility?

Still learning and fine tuning my routine. Fortunately the calories keep coming off, and I'm staying active.

I feel good.

Off for a hike...

Before-bed Ramblings

2007-06-08T23:39:00.000-04:00

So I'm in this weird phase right now. It's a phase of distractions, passions, depressions, and confessions. It's a phase of get up and go rather than sit around and wait. (For once.)

Getting a car has ultimately changed my life. Strangely, I find myself uncomfortable with all the possibilities and options I now have. It's funny because it's what I've dreamed of for years, and now that it's been made available I'm kind of scared of it all. Seriously. I mean, live a life like I have and then throw yourself into all these new things. It's almost like culture shock just driving to State College by myself. I'm opening though, blooming, and turning into the person that's been trapped inside this lifeless shell for the past two and a half years.

The parents and I have been cooking out a lot. It's kind of nice spending time with them, despite recent clashes we've had over this or that. I don't spend very much time at home these days, and my italian greyhound pup Luigi has become more my father's dog than my own.

The dating pool that I've dipped into is finally beginning to churn. Plenty of opportunities seem to be throwing themselves at my feet, especially since last Sunday. I was hoping to go out this Sunday again, but I've spent all my money foolishly and have been forced to preserve what little cash I have for gas to tide me over until next pay.

My next pay is going to suck. Hours cut again. It fucking sucks, seriously. I mean, I am so drained of this job, but I try to remain optimistic. Still, favored employees recieve the most hours, and with my store manager in other areas opening other stores, there's not much I can do but bitch and moan about the new schedules.

On an off note - I took the 22nd, 23rd, and 24th of June off for some camping up on the mountain.

Artistically, I've had no passion lately. I'm too busy ironing out this new workout routine, fighting with friends, and establishing independence. Moreover, my nose is constantly to the wind, searching for love, wherever it may be. Having been introduced to the local gay communties however, I must say that it would be alarmingly easy to go home with a different guy every night. Finding someone worth it though is surely going to be another task.

Anyway...got a CD player for the car. Awesome!!!

> fitness

2007-06-08T18:18:00.000-04:00

Calories Burned: 703 + full body workout

So of course I tackled the gym again today. I'm really lovin' it, but I cut back today so as not to burn myself out physically or mentally. I'm super enthused about the fact that I still overshot my daily calorie goal by 203 calories. I'm quickly becoming familiarized with the equipment, and now am putting thought back into another iPod to complete the cycle.

I mastered that embarrassingly awkward ab curl machine too. I'm gonna be hurtin' tomorrow. Mark my words.

> nature

2007-06-07T19:18:00.000-04:00

I went for a hike today. With morel season having passed, I turned my eyes more toward the lush foliage, and non-morel mushrooms for photographic purposes.

For some reason there is something welcoming visually about the ferns and log in the photo below. The ferns were a different variety from the vast majority, and overall it just appeared to be a picture perfect moment in my eye.

I'm getting ready for a picnic here at the house, so I don't have time to explain the ins and outs of each. But enjoy the photos regardless!

> fitness

2007-06-07T15:32:00.000-04:00

Calories burned today: 1157

So I went to the gym today and did a 2 hour cardio work out which featured both the reclined bicycle, and the elliptical machine. I did a work out and a half on each (a total of 2 hrs at the gym) and burned a total of 1157 calories. That's 557 calories more than recommended to lose 1 lb a week. (If you work out daily!)

For those who don't know, 3500 calories equals 1 lb of fat. So it goes without saying that the proverbial engines have been warmed and fired up, and I am now well on my way to a healthier heart, and body overall.

I was seriously sweating myself into oblivion as I watched the news on the gym television. (Paris Hilton seems to be making headlines yet again for her "get out of jail early" card.) I enjoy the elliptical machine because it's no-impact motion allows you to burn calories without destroying joints. Moreover, I'm told it seems to burn stomach fat quickly.

Whatever the case...I don't know what I weigh. I'm going to wait a couple weeks before I weigh myself. I've given the muscles a rest again because some (particularly my upper body/abs) are still quite tender from Tuesday's workout. I did some lower back exercise, and some lower ab reps before going back to the cardio.

After 1157 calories (and a nature hike still ahead of me) I opted to call it a day. Stay tuned for a blog entry on the nature hike.

Fitness

2007-06-05T23:48:00.000-04:00

So I'm ravashed. I'm not sure if I'm a pig...or if I'm just hungry because of the exercise I've been getting...but after a peanut butter/jelly sandwhich, some pizza rolls and string cheese, I've finally curbed my cravings and am just about ready to shower and head to work.

Today was day 2 of my new workout routine...if routine is even the appropriate word for what I'm doing. I got up early enough that I could work out before going to the j-o-b. Right now I don't have any set specifics, I'm just basically going in and doing a basic full-body work out, and cardio. If I'm to be completely honest, there are still a few machines I'm not really comfortable with using, but the fitness instructor is more than glad to help me if I have questions. I'm setting the weights to a comfortable weight so that I can do about 10 - 12 reps before pausing for a break. Then I'll do one or two more reps of 10 or so, but usually no more than two reps of 10 are possible. For cardio, I just sort of hop on and set to a specific program. I've learned to program the eliptical and the reclined bicycle, but with the bicycle I've yet to finnish the 20 minute "up hill" program. It's pretty hard, and I have strong legs! That said, I'm loving the eliptical because it doesn't hurt knees and feet like jogging does.

Today, for the first time, I tackled the harder of two possible ab machines. You lay on the board, put your feet through these bars, and grab bars above your head. You then curl up like an armadillo bringing your head to your knees.

Admittingly - I could only do a handful of these torturous crunches. And by the time I was ready to try the [rather awkward] obliques exercise (by tilting the foot levers to the right or left) I didn't have the energy to pull it all together. HAHA! However abs are a big reason of why I joined a gym in the first place. I flat stomach is something I'm determined to find, and coincidentally it seems to be the goal that is farthest away. But having done just a handful of the crunches on this machine, my entire ab region is tight.

Before long I went to the other ab machine which you sit forward and use the weight resistance to your...well..disadvantage as you sit back up. This machine seems to only work the lower abs, but I still do it because it's easier and is probably a more realistic ab exercise than the previously mentioned one. I did quite a few reps on that today.

My upper arms, under arms, lower arms, chest, legs, upper back and neck, abs, and even my butt got a workout this morning! Oh yeah...and lest I forget the cardio. I feel good...sore...but good. So yeah...I've rediscovered water, the burning sensation of sweat in your eyes, and will take a break from weights tomorrow and focus on cardio for the day to let my muscles regenerate.

I'm lovin' it.

Post Memorial Day Babblings

2007-05-29T11:47:00.000-04:00

It's one thing to post a photograph on your myspace of you and a significant other kissing. I must declare however, that it is an entirely different situation when one of you has a throbbingly red hicky arrogantly sucked on your neck as you both lay in bed (appearing) naked. People don't want to see that shit, regardless of whether or not they admit it willingly!

Sometimes I read myspaces, and it boggles my mind at the attempts people will go to to make others envious, or even jealous of something they have. Whether it be an undoubtedly hot body, or just a boyfriend that is worth showing off, some people have no limitations to what and how much they will show for the world. For now, let's cover BF's. (Boyfriends for those of you with lives.)

So okay...if I had a significant other, I would certainly be all up for posting pictures of us together on my page. BUT, some people take it to extremes that are far above and beyond what is necessary to declare your everlasting love for an individual. To be honest, these obsessive girlfriends would freak me right the hell out if I were into dating them. MoreoverI can't quite understand the mentality of these girls that have 109 pictures of them and their boyfriends slobbering over each other, and then playing comment tag with the CORNIEST most God-awful displays of affection you can imagine. When I see this kind of thing...I literally cringe, or roll my eyes. I mean really....we're happy for you...honestly. No seriously.

All in all, it boils down to one thing: making his ex's jealous.

I know girls, and I'm sorry but whoever said girls are more mature than guys certainly never happened upon one of these myspaces filled with hearts and dedications, poems, and damn-near pornographic images.

It's like...OK...we all know you're having sex. But is it necessary to show it to the world? Unfortunately, I know the answer to that question is yes because some people just can't let well enough alone. It stirs trouble, they want attention, and they certainly would like to make everyone say "awwwww you guys are so cute 2gether! <3"

Please. You don't love him THAT much. But, it certainly does feel good to know you're making her jealous.

People this pathetic are precisely the people who would post 20 bulletins in 8 minutes for alleged "myspace spyware" or be destined to misery, and no sex for the rest of their lives.

:sighs:
So I went to my first gay bar as a single gay male. Unlike most gay men, I defer from using the world "boi" because I find it obtrusively annoying.

Due to a slight insecurity issue, I had no lip action at the bar. I was completely awkward with the whole flirtatious persona from get go, despite the fact that in hindsight I had a few opportunities.

A man in drag rubbed his leg curiously up against mine as he awaited a drink, and I instantly froze in disgust. I mean, let's think about this...I like men, which is admittingly unusual. HOWEVER, if women's clothing, hair, makeup, and pantihose turned me on I would CERTAINLY not be in this bar to begin with. Moreover, why would I even be close to being interested in who looks like a middle-aged soccer mom.

I felt instantly welcome, as theDJ/Bartender played good music for Wendy and I. Other than some girls who would venture into the bar and dissapear in regular intervals, Wendy and I did most of the dancing that night.

It was kind of a birthday celebration I guess. I mean, we were going out for my birthday, kind of. Depends on who you talk to I guess.

So yeah, having been at Player's on Sunday night almost a year and a half ago I can hardly call my visit to this particular bar my debut to the local gay community. I will admit though I made some friends. Some were completely new, others were people I'd talked to on the phone from time to time, and online but had never actually met in person.

That said, we had fun. I definitely had fun. Wendy had the only kiss of the night, and it was to one of three completely heterosexual males who were sulking around the bar. They were very funny, and undoubtedly looking to hook up with the lingering fag hags who had accompanied their homo-friends.

It's strange how it all goes. In any case, I'm off the next TWO weekends and will likely be heading back out with [hopefully] a little more confidence. As a start for a healthier and more fit future (and a much-needed boost of confidence), I am finally joining a gym. I should be signed up by next Saturday. I'm very anxious to get started, as it's something I've talked about doing for a couple years now. Up until now, it wasn't possible though. Be it an actual destination, or just a personal goal, I'm quickly finding that my beloved Alero gets me there faster.

So...I fished for the truth yesterday.

Yesterday I asked someone to be 100% truthful with me in regards to the extra pounds I put on since High School. I inquired about how it made my appearance look. I asked them to use a word to describe my appearance (according to weight - i.e. fat, chubby). She used the word "Stocky".

The lovely AIM bot SmarterChild defines "stocky" as:

stocky:

1. Solidly built; sturdy. 2. Chubby; plump.

For the first time, I knew the solidified truth of the matter. This is precisely how I see myself; a chubby cheeked, slightly overweight tall guy. But I had to be sure that my self-image and the image that others viewed of me were two different things before I set on my quest. (Btw, I commend this friend for being honest with me because it has given me total motivation!)

So it's ok everyone...I know I'm stocky, and maybe even chubby when compared to the fit world that surrounds me. I'm certainly not short...but I don't know...I'm "filled out". No flat tummy here. But let it be known that Saturday I begin a new quest; a quest to change that and get rid of obtrusive body fat once and for all. I am demanding a renewal of confidence, and the ability to wax off my chest/belly hair to reveal a toned body that has been hidden since...well...a long time.

I will be monitoring progress, and blogging about my days at the gym here. But before I do...let's look at a picture of myself that I HATE for motivational purposes:

Possibly my least favorite photo. The shirt is tight, and shows off white untoned upper arms. Moreover, the bottom rim of my shirt juts out a little bit due to a developing belly. Wendy took this of me at Reservoir Park and I instantly thought "OH MY GOD NOOOOOOOOOO!" I mean, we can assume a camera adds 10 lbs, and the unflattering angle might make things a little worse than they actually are. But I find it hard to believe that my camera could be such a liar!

And so it begins. Wish me luck!

P.S. My birthday sucked. No card from the parents, and a total of 2 birthday cards. (3 if you count the one from my State Farm agent.)

Reflecting, naturally...

2007-05-20T21:55:00.000-04:00

I've been spending a lot of time outdoors. Such bouts of enjoyment often cause me to regret my job, and [for the most part] my current life position. When I refer to my "current life position", I'm referring to my j-o-b. I am however, not depressed about it - which is a far cry from where I've been in the past. I now have the means to change things now that I have a car!

Yesterday was a big slap in the face with reality, as I sat up at my grandma's house, talking with great-grandma. She's dying, and she knows it. All her bodily functions seem to be shutting down at 80 years old thanks to diabetes, and she feels that there is nothing left to live for. On three different occassions tears came to her eyes. She's lonely. I'm going to make an effort to see her more often.

Pray for her please.

____________________________

On the upside...I may be getting an apartment with Amanda.

Also, I have plans to go to a gay bar Saturday night. So far, everything is lining up perfectly for it. Furthermore...I am looking into a gym membership this week to become a more fit, toned version of myself.

Busy busy busy...enjoy some of these photos I've taken over the past week.

Btw...I found my first yellow morel on my OWN this week. A single loner sprouting from the soil, cradled in the needles of a massive white pine:

Sandy Ridge Trail

2007-05-11T01:15:00.000-04:00

As I become more used to my car, I am beginning to venture farther and farther away from my comfort zone into territories I haven't regularly visited. For me, it seems the possibilities are endless. For instance, today I really pushed the limits for myself and drove into what is (for me) relatively unchartered territory; places I've never been before as a driver, alone, deciding when to leave and everything. My first stop was Sandy Ridge Trail.

Snaking up the side of one of our areas larger mountains is a dirt road complete with bumps, grooves and a steep incline on one side. As you acsend the trail in your vehicle, your ears gradually pop and you enter a world that is slightly behind in seasonal development. I noticed that the leaves were less advanced, and that ferns were less unravelled than they are in Owl Hollow. The elusive "black morel" might still be at it's peak at this elevation, so I intend to do some more searching this week.

Reaching the peak of the mountain where the road kind of levels out, I stopped at one of the pull offs to take some photos. I walked behind the anti-motorized vehicle gate onto a clear path of lush green grass; still wet from the sporadic rain showers we had throughout the day. On each side of the path was matted down dead fern growth with the "new" ferns poking out and beginning the new year's growth. I had forest on either side of me, although the forest on the right side of the trail was considerably thinner, with taller trees and practically no understory.

I noticed the looming storm clouds behind the silouhette of the trees and opted to snap a picture or two. The pictures must be pretty good because they really evoke the feeling I get when a storm is approaching each time I look at them.

Ferns, still dripping from the previous shower, also caught my eye.

About forty yards down the path I just barely noticed something yellow catch my eye. I turned to see that I was not alone on this path, and that an eastern box turtle was spying on me amidst the dripping ferns. Neck outstretched, he gazed at me momentarily before pulling into his shell almost completely at my approach.

Not as orange, or quite as large as the box turtle I'd photographed last August - I'm thinking this individual is younger. Then again, color vibrancy and such is probably extremely variable in this species so I can't really back up this assumption. Nevertheless, he posed for a couple photographs before I finally left him to amble around a fallen apple tree to search for yellow morels.

Eventually I meandered around the edge of a spring fed pond; devoid of aquatic life minus insect larvae and tadpoles. The plantlife however was practically exploding from the water's edge.

Empty handed would describe my status in regards to morels on Sandy Ridge. There was a sincere lack of american elm on the top of the mountain, so I'm thinking this is a species that prefers lower elevations. That said, there were a lot of white ash trees which ALSO host morels. I didn't spend much time looking however, the rain was coming and I'd forgotten my pancho at the house!

I cruised down the mountain and took a ride. I drove through the Pennsylvania countryside passing a couple Amish, including some adorable children toting a wagon as though they themselves were horses. I cruised slowly, watching for dying elm trees, but was at a loss for pull offs and had to do a "drive by scan" in my searches.

At some point I made the decision to return to the morel patch and look for stragglers before the slugs could get them. I also wanted to take a picture of the white phase of our wild violet that Jim (a horticulture expert) claims are a rare find as well.

I poked around in the grass a bit, moving clumps of grass out of the way by the fist fulls to scan the ground underneath. Luckily we had overlooked some that were cloaked in grass, and I had to do some digging to find enough to line the bottom of my bag.

At one point I found something a little more active than a mushroom!

And so with the bottom of my bag lined with mushrooms I hopped in the car and headed back home with a smile on my face. I could taste them already.

Quest for Morels

2007-05-08T23:39:00.000-04:00

It was around four o'clock in the afternoon when Jim, one of my regular customers at work, called my cellphone. The previous day Jim had overheard me discussing my insecurities about finding morels, and my doubt that there were many - if any - popping up locally. Displeased with my negative outlook, he encouraged me with hope generated from his previous days finds of over a hundred and thirty yellows.

Though this weeks findings were marked at a high of zero morels, I was rearin' and ready to go for my two consecutive days off and could barely focus at work with the prospect of going out shrooming again. It's a disease I tell you! An absolutely dreadful life-controlling disease that lasts only about a month or so out of the spring!

Sensing my dilemma, Jim, who up until a few hours ago I only knew as "Bagel Guy" (as he brings me left over bagels from his bakery) offered to take me out looking for this seemingly elusive choice edible. I gave him my number and looked forward to the experience. After work, around 4 o'clock, that's when he called.

Driving along numerous country roads we drove slowly and pointed out every dead or dying elm that our eyes could find, subsequently pissing off a number of drivers behind us. Each dead elm yielded nothing. A few yielded brown non-morel types. His tips were intriguing, and I quickly learned how to discern the American Elm from the score of other hardwoods growing in our area. I also took quick to the fact that Jim was absolutely mortified of snakes.

We stopped the car near the local quarries and got out to check around a couple of the dead elms that stood sadly with entire sheathes of bark missing from their trunk. Branches also nearly bare, it was a result of dutch elm's disease - a disease caused by a wicked beetle and (ironically) a fungus. If any GOOD is to come of this elm killing disease, it is that it is very common around here and that morels need certain types of dead or dying trees to thrive. On this stop we found only a strange polypore mushroom known as Dryad's Saddle (below) -- another useful addition to my photo collection! Still no morels however. (Even after I nearly stepped on a thick black snake which resulted in Jim emitting a womanly shriek and tripping over himself to get away with eyes as large as dinner plates!)

Eventually we returned to a spot that Jim had found morels days prior - but had thought to be picked clean. He was sadly mistaken, as I managed to find quite a few! He told me that any I could find, I could also keep (his mistake) and as I'm sure you've probably already guessed, I found some! Sure enough I wound up finding and keeping 43 yellow morels.

The habitat was streamside, giving way to an eventual dying elm at irregular intervals along it's banks. It's no wonder either, with weather being so dry the mushrooms seemed to cling to the soil which was shielded by heavy grass and with some drier morels poking out of piles of dried soybean at the field edge. Of the lot, only two elms were found to have morels - one of which HAD been picked clean the previous day by Jim. The other however yeilded 83 more yellow morels (since Jim's 130) by the time darkness set in - forty three of which were in my brown paper bag.

Taking a number of photographs of these fabulous fungi for personal and sharing purposes, I headed home. Hungry and (admittingly)curious, I fried a good portion of my finds in butter with a pinch of garlic only to discover that every good thing I've read about morels was indeed true. Far superior to the slimy egg-like shaggy manes I found last October, the yellow morel is even better tasting than my previous favorite, the sulfur shelf. Then again...I always did prefer the flavor of beef over the flavor of chicken.

OH! And by the way...I still haven't seen or tasted a black morel. Most books and people agree that they are less desirable than yellows, and I fear that it's too late in the spring to find any in my area of the continent. (I could be wrong.) I still consider my quest for morels complete however because of the yellow's superior reputation.

And so tonight, I will sleep a lot better knowing that I have finally experienced the most superior of all morels. Going out tomorrow to (hopefully) find some more.

On my way...

2007-05-08T16:16:00.000-04:00

...out the door. Bagel Guy from work happens to be a morel hunter and has found quite a few this week. We're going hunting together in a few minutes to look for some quality patches. Hopefully I'll pick up a few tips along the way.

Stay tuned...

Morel Quest Ctd...

2007-05-07T22:27:00.000-04:00

Still no morels.

There are three basic kinds: black (earliest, 2nd place for taste), half-free ("good" edible), and yellow (most delicious!). In any case, the morel is taking over my life. I spend all my free time walking in small circles through bramble and thorn in hopes of even a tiny specimen to admire. Things are so dry here though...and the clock is ticking for morel season. It's aggravating not know when the next good rain will be.

I have what Michael Kuo refers to as M.I.S. (Morel Insecurity Syndrome). I need validation and I need it soon!!!!!!!

Rumor has it things are "behind" biologically...but yellows (the last to sprout) are beginning to pop up here in Pennsylvania which means blacks are probably starting to dissipate in availability.

I did manage to find these little guys:

ARGH! They're SO not morels. :(

Michael's Morel Hikes

2007-05-06T23:21:00.000-04:00

Still no morels! Fortunately, a fellow (actually female) local shroomer is going to try and help me out in finding some. Morels are very difficult to find (especially Black Morels) and usually wherever someone knows of a patch - it is kept super-secret from other shroomers. I have loggers, hunters, and shroomers about keeping an eye peeled for me, on top of hiking hours each day myself. Surely I'll find some by the end of the week!!

Two things on my wish list this week?

a couple good rain showers (we need it, and so do shroomies)
a bag full of black and/or yellow morels

Wish me luck! I need it!

Love n Peace

2007-05-06T14:33:00.000-04:00

Jude writes: " Wow! Snakes, deer and orange lizard thingys...... you've got all kinds of animal and plantlife on this set Michael, and they're all professionally shot!"

Thanks Jude! It means a lot to hear a compliment for doing something you love to do. I'm not sure I'd say they're professional, but I definitely think I'm starting to get the hang of this camera with each use. It's so fun to bring stuff I enjoy to my blog. Cameras allow me to capture those special moments in nature that words can't really describe...and is it EVER addicting!

She also writes: I've missed you. How are you? What's happening in your life? Hugs!

I'm around, that's for sure. There's a lot going on in my life at the moment from working full time, to spending as MUCH time in the outdoors as possible. I know I've said it a hundred times, but I'm determined to find morel mushrooms if it's the last thing I do! :)

I haven't been messing with myspace or blogger very often, until this past week. In fact, April marked two years for my pro account on flickr, and I was kind of hesitant at first about paying for another year until I saw how I felt personally about sharing my life with people. A lot of things have happened to me in regards to "online people" and in the end it just worked out to be one huge turn-off. In fact, it's downright scary because certain people just can't seem to stay away. Also, for whatever reason...a lot of people quit reading my blog totally. I'll cover my theory on WHY in the next paragraph.

My purpose in blogging has completely changed in the past few months. I mean...there are only so many times anyone wants to listen to your life specifics before your readers get bored with it. So, I think I've finally found a way of mixing it up and keeping it fresh and new. With spring in full swing, I'm sure I'll be taking plenty of pictures and reporting on plenty. But yeah, in my childish way I guess I quit blogging because I had no readers. I'm still completely baffled as to why Rhonda Elizabeth put her blog on private and never even sent me an invite to read it. I mean...I commented with irregular intervals, but I did enjoy reading it. I was stupid though, and just got upset and irritated. I guess I took it as a snub. I should've just went to her and talked to her, but for some unseen reason I didn't. I just said 'screw it' and let it be. (Which I find isn't the best attitude to have anyway. It gets you nowhere.)

I'm making progress with stuff though, which is the important thing. In the past year I've changed a hell of a lot with everything, and since I have a car I feel like a new person. Freedom is great.

Strangely enough, I've yet to attempt to dip into the dating pool since I got my car. I mean, wasn't that what I constantly blamed my loneliness on? The lack of a car? Well...here I am...perfectly capable of going to bars and clubs and I simply haven't been in the mood. I guess it's because I'm in love with nature. ;)

All in all, I'm here...and I'm ok. Thanks for asking.

Love n Peace

P.S. - Thanks to KC as well for the wonderful compliments on the slideshow.

May

2007-05-05T11:49:00.000-04:00

Enthralled with the natural world, I've managed to capture quite a few pictures already this spring in my search for mushrooms. The first mushrooms are beginning to appear as I hunt vigorously for both black and yellow morels for the first time in some of my favorite haunts.

I've yet to find any morels yet (this is my first year hunting them) - but I've found plenty of camera worthy organisms to add to my flickr photos. Late May and June will be my 1 year anniversary for shrooming.

In any case...enjoy the images I've captured.

Love n Peace

April and a Journey to Owl Hollow

2007-04-02T22:48:00.000-04:00

April is finally here. In April, things pick up rather quickly in Pennsylvania. It is in April that breeding begins for many birds, and that the first mushrooms begin to poke from the soil. Leaves are going into bud, birds are courting their mates, daffodils are in bloom and trout season is only 12 days away!

Spells of warm weather have really brought life back to Pennsylvania's natural world. Wood frogs and spring peepers (also a frog)have united in a chorus along the marshy stream that runs along Tuskovich Lane. Balls of jelly-like eggs lay in the pools as tadpoles develope. Massive flocks of turkey vultures soar on warm air thermals that rise from the warming valleys, while red-tailed hawks scream loudly declaring their right to a mate. I jump an American Woodcock just about every day, and I can hear their nasal "peeeeeeeeent" cry at night in swampy forested areas.

My father and I opted to take a hike. Although our primary objective for heading to Owl Hollow was to find shed deer antlers - I of course brought the digital camera along to take pictures of anything that caught my eye. I spent more time looking at dead mushroom remains and new forest growth than for deer antlers.

We hiked up through a ravine, and underneath the bough of a group of pines. We knew a very large buck that had frequented this part of owl hollow and were scanning for his shed antlers when I came across a large oak stump. Dead stumps do much for the forest. Animals use them as lookouts and food storage, young seedlings and moss sprout from them, and in the case of some - fungi appear to help decay the wood.

Chicken of the Woods, in it's white, "dead", inedible, moldy form. This is only the fruiting body. Beneath the stump surface lives the actual organism; the mycelium, who will fruit again when the time is right.

Preserved well over the winter, I had no idea of just how many chicken mushrooms were growing in owl hollow. Before I had a car, my only visits were while hunting with my father - so during the "season" for this delicious mushroom, I was obviously absent and unable to scout the area for mushrooms. Oh boy did I ever miss out!

Though I was disgruntled by my findings, they will likely re-grow in the same spot come August, and I will be hauling them out of Owl Hollow by the pounds! I don't want to wish my life away though, so let's focus on the now!

Dad and I also noted strange droppings - like that of a giant rodent. They littered the entrance of den dug by the mysterious creature - when suddenly I remembered the porcupine! This was his home. My father had seen him frequently back in December during the antlered deer season.

Due to "quality deer management", the seedlings of Owl Hollows trees finally have a fighting chance of growing without being devoured first. I noted many different seedling sprouts throughout our hike - including hemlock sprouts. Many of the hemlock sprouts found were growing on dead logs of the same species. Another example of how death can create life, for future generations. Due to high moisture, many of the logs also hosted moss, and some were engulfed in a coating of red soldier lichen.

Owl Hollow Creek was running pretty high, as is typical for the year. By mid-summer it will be but a mere trickle with stagnant pools. Despite this, there is always enough of a flow to keep creek life thriving. But again, there is balance here. While the pools of water make the stream life susceptable to attack from herons and other predators - the insects who breed create an important summer food source for the very same stream life who's life drought threatens.

Adding some bursts of color to the forest floor were the colt's foot - typical for this time of year. Appearing at a glance to be some sort of dandilion, colt's foot is actually a much more beautiful plant.

I've been seeing a lot of these growing along the roads, growing up the bank, and even in stoney driveways. Relatively short seasoned, it is one of Pennsylvania's first spring flowers (along with crocus) and gives us something interesting to look at and talk about in the otherwise drab early-spring woods.

Trout Season

2007-04-02T22:37:00.000-04:00

April 7th is stocking day. Dozens of people will gather at the local hatchery to gather trout out by the bucket load to release in various streams and ponds within the county. The idea of volunteering and helping out has been rolling around in my mind, but we shall see.

My grandfather and I visited the trout hatchery the 31st, and dad and I visited the 1st of April.

It's a small hatchery - actually a sportsman's club, focusing on the stocking of local streams to enhance the trout fishing experience for the herds that will be lining up along the local streams come April 14th. These hatchery fish will also take pressure off of the native fish - as they are often easier to catch, and bigger!

There are two ponds filled to the gills (no pun intended) with thousands of medium sized trout. The ponds are kept fresh by their 'feeder stream' "the big fill" - which has a smaller stream which breaks off, passes through the hatchery, then reconnects to the "the big fill" again.

Additionally, there is ditch-like trough shaped waterway with some brown trout - who prefer the slower water. There are also two fast flowing troughs which have a steady current. In one there are large trout, and in the other are the trophies.

Some of the trophy trout appeared to be 20 + inches long, and fat! The only ones really noticable are the famed golden Palamino Trout (actually a genetic mutation of the rainbow trout). Always a stocked fish (never occuring wild in Pennsylvania's streams), the palamino is a trout I've never actually landed. Brightly colored, their life expectancy isn't very high - although they seem to have a lot at the hatchery this year! Although shrouded in a cloud of commerciality (in my opinion), I would like to add the palamino to my list this season. As is usually typical with most trout however - if you can see them, they won't bite. So, hopefully I can fool one.

A great blue heron flew into the distance as he watched us approach. He is one of the reasons strong wire meshing has been applied to the troughs of the larger trout. Not that he could do much with a 20 incher, but he might try! Let alone the local bears, and kids. Orange fencing has been laid around the pond to keep people from fishing in the hatchery ponds -- and yes it has been attempted by some pathetic people!

Only 4 more days and they will be free to live in the wild.

March's End

2007-03-30T20:50:00.000-04:00

For sylvan snoopers such as my self, March leaves much to be desired. It's a bleak world filled with little more than last second weather changes, dead plants, and the remainance of winter's fury laying strewn and pressed tight to the ground until April adds life to the scenery. That said, the wildlife of Penn's Woods is well on its way to recovery as we kiss goodbye the final days in March.

Today I worked six in the morning until eleven. Construction is taking place at the store, so things have been pretty interesting. After clocking out I drove to Reservoir Pond.

Unfortunately, the trout have not been stocked yet this year - as they were by this time in last year's archives. But, upon my arrival I noticed a pair of bufflehead ducks who have appearantly used the small lake as a rest stop during their spring migration. With their bulky black and white heads and tiny bodies, the buffleheads are more at home on large lakes, reservoirs, and bays. They are a member of the diving duck family, with legs put far back on the body - making them extremely clumsy on the ground. This attribute also makes springing up out of the water difficult. Most divers must get a running start before launching into the air.

Also, some more domestic ducks have been added to the group that I have been watching for a couple years now. King Quckers, Snowball, and Miss Mocha are still quite healthy - although I had to chace them off the road on one occassion! In addition to these ducks, another group (who stay away from the previously mentioned)have been released to Reservoir Pond. No names yet, as at least one of the ducks has already been found dead. Another is missing in action; likely succumbing to one of the local foxes.

I left the park for awhile, came home and meandered a bit before I decided to go for another hike in the fields and forest surrounding my grandparents home.

I noticed a lot of wild turkey sign today, including scratchings on the ground, droppings, and footprints. Their courtship and breeding season is in full swing now and I will probably hear the staccato gobble of a horned-up gobbler in no time.

No morel mushrooms yet. The season is approaching though, and I'm keeping my eyes peeled. These little honeycombs on a stick are number one of my "Things I Need to Experience" in 2007. Ha!

I shuffled through the fields hoping to jump the american woodcock or "timberdoodle" that I had spooked twice before - but I had no such pleasure. Wherever it was hiding, it held tight, probably with the understanding that I couldn't see it. I did notice a large amount of songbirds today. I even saved a downy woodpecker from my grandparents garage yesterday. He was confused, flustered, and all to eager to bite my helpful fingers as I pried him from the window pane and released him back into the wild.

Late March

2007-03-28T23:09:00.000-04:00

Unseasonably warm. That was how you would describe the weather on the 27th here in central Pennsylvania.

With temperatures reaching over 70 degrees - I found myself very winded, out of shape, and out of practice with my hiking. Unable to ignore the beautiful weather, I hopped into my car (hehe) and drove off to one of my favorite haunts - and a place I often visit to get away from the world. I visit it even moreso now that I have a car than I ever did.

I pulled into the grandparents driveway where I shuffled around the driveway with pap, smoking cigarettes and talking about the upcoming trout season. I'm hoping like hell I get the time off from work to do it. This year will be unlike any other year because for the first time I can fish WHENEVER and WHEREVER I want! It's going to be great. As for the smoking bit...I'm going to give'er another go with the whole quitting thing. Now that I'm able to hike again and burn fat, I don't have to smoke. Whereas before, smoking was a crutch that seemed to keep flab off of me..it has no become a burden. Slowing me down, and adding labor to the simple task of breathing.

I put out my cigarette and walked around the house. I stumbled upon grandmas old garden which has been left unattended. Most flowers have been removed, as it is slowly phased out to blend in with the rest of the yard. Despite this however, one of springs first beauties is in full bloom. Meet the Crocus:

Sprouting from the earth, the crocus add bursts of violety hues to the new green grass, an the old stone walkway.

Digital cameras and binoculars in hand, I moved forthward across the field to the forest I so often frequent. The trail is covered in a green carpet of moss, which at this time of year is some of the only greenery to be found in the forest. The only greenery that is, until you come upon one of the many springs of the area.

I hike down the trail, feeling a lot like I was walking on the back of a giant green fuzzy snake that twisted through the forest. Then I came to another field.

Visually bland, the sunbleached grasses and leafless ridge did little to satisify my taste for nature. Milkweed pods stand dead, opened, and lifeless in the stiff crisp grass, fastened into the muddy soil beneath my feet. Although most have been dispersed already, I catch glances of the white tufted seeds blowing in the March wind as I pass through.

Dividing two fields there is a line of trees. At the edge, a pile of wood stands overlooking the dip in the field which is bordered by the foot of a large oak ridge. The forest there is full of springs and my interest grows as spring progresses as I know in this very woodline there is some prime mushroom (particularly MOREL MUSHROOM) habitat.

I've never found a morel - although this is my first year searching for them. I shouldn't have a large amount of trouble, but it is a well known fact in the shrooming world that a morel patch is a SECRET! If you ever find these delightful little mushrooms, don't share the information with other shroomers or you'll be sorry! So, what makes this woodlot prime morel territory? For starters, this:

Once upon a time, this section of forest was field. A field with apple trees. Decades later, the field was neglected and has since grown up with a variety of trees. A handful of apple trees are still standing in amongst the oaks and maples.

Now, according to my new morel book, the Yellow Morel (which peaks it's season in May) is particularly fond of dead, or dying apple trees. Neglected apple orchards spawn a LOT of morels much of the time - and I'm hoping this is the case with my little secret place.

Before the yellow morel, there will be black morels...undoubtedly coming into season within the next couple weeks, and lasting through May alongside it's yellow counterpart. Chances I will find them in the area are pretty good too, although I believe their fruiting will be determined more by the maples, and tulip poplars in the lot. One this is for sure though...there is PLENTY of moisture!

Springs are everywhere at the base of this ridge and while poking around in anticipation for mushroom season I jumped the American Woodcock, or "Timberdoodle" on a few occassions. Here is a drawing of mine featuring this beautiful, but strange bird. Also - note the mushrooms behind him. Those are the mighty yellow morels I'm seeking this year.

The woodcock meanders around the springs, probing the soft mud for earthworms. With their large eyes, these birds are most active in early morning and late evening where they emit a nasal "peeeeeeent" sound while spiraling upward from the ground for courtship. As one of my favorite birds, they are closely related to (and sometimes referred to as) the Snipe.

Thirsty from the overload of exercise I put on myself at once, I couldn't seem to ignore the taunting trickle of ice cold spring water as it trickled down the forest floor toward some distant stream.

Throughout the wet forest floor I found decaying logs and stumps covered in polypore mushrooms. With so much moisture, I'm sure this new hotspot will reveal even more species than my other haunts. The specimens found were dry, and relatively lifeless. But slowly, life is being restored to the forest.

So gradual is springs onset, that nobody can really pinpoint the exact day when a brown field becomes green. I'm looking forward to another year of great nature experiences.

Stay tuned...

Hmm...

2007-03-24T02:26:00.000-04:00

No...I haven't forgotten about blogging. I've just been exercising my right to drive. Pictures and stories soon.

Oh btw - I went to a country music concert (Dierks Bentley, Jason Aldean, and Miranda Lambert) and Jason Aldean asked the crowd if they were into the good old school rock legends like Aerosmith, Guns and Roses and...yep...Def Leppard. He went on to sing a GNR medly...but no Leppard despite the crowds enthusiasm.

Love n Peace

Vroom Vroom!

2007-03-18T00:11:00.000-04:00

Let me start out by saying I feel great. Having a car is SUCH a big deal to me and suddenly I have all the freedom I need. Most of the things in my life that have depressed me are changing for the better, one by one. Finally!

Spring is here...although you wouldn't know it by looking at my car photos. (My apologies for the low quality btw...I'll take better ones tomorrow.) We've had bouts with 60 degree weather and blizzard like conditions all in one week! That's March in Pennsylvania though - such a tease! Birds are singing...and I am seeing the very first signs of spring. Warmer weather is on it's way - and as old man winter delivers his final blows to central Pennsylvania, he does so only to make us bigger spring fans. It's only a matter of time until spring overcomes him and takes all!

I've been driving a lot today. I'm really starting to feel comfortable driving again - although I don't sense any major roadtrips for awhile. At least not until I'm fully comfortable driving again. I'm also adjusting to the new car...I just LOVE him! He's beautiful, and smells so clean. It's an oldsmobile Alero - very well taken care of. LOVE IT! HA!

So yeah...I'm like a child...so excited with my new toy. But most of all...the ability to get up and go whenever I please instead of wallowing in my self-disgust alone in this house. I now have the power to CHANGE that!

Gotta get a CD player for this thing so I can jam to some Def Leppard and No Doubt while I cruise town. Tonight I'm staying home though to avoid the drunks who are undoubtedly leaving the bars and vomiting green (St. Patty's Day) vomit.

Much love to all!

Love n Peace

Mission accomplished.

2007-03-16T18:52:00.000-04:00

My number one goal of the past few years has finally been accomplished. Anyone who has followed my blog since it's start in November of 2003 knows precisely what I needed to push ahead, and to be happy. Finally, the demon I've been battling hath fallen. I've blogged about wanting one long enough and to finally HAVE one is almost unreal. Especially one as nice as the one I just bought:

Got me a '99 Alero - very well maintained. Low light conditions and being covered and snow keeps it's shiny black paint from really living up to what it truly looks like. Special thanks to pap for co-signing on the loan.

Life is about to become great. Freedom rules.

Love n Peace

Spring

2007-03-10T10:31:00.000-05:00

For the April issue of ODT, I'll be doing some more realistic wildlife illustration with (you guessed it) pen and ink. So what am I drawing? The mountain lion, also known as cougar or puma. I've never been really good at felines but having done sketches from bobcat references, I finally got a realistic look to the cougar. It's probably the best drawing of a cat that I've ever done. (Knock on wood - as it isn't quite done!) This will be the first piece of artwork that may have more of a 'wow' factor in it. Something more elegant and real than a cartoon - but with the obviously-art-look of pen and ink. I hope the editor likes it.

As a bonus, I'm sending another drawing which says "NO HUNTING" in cartoon style. Standing beside a tree (with the sign attached) are a black bear, white-tailed deer, and wild turkey...all laughing and pointing, and all of "trophy size". I was going for a bit of humor with this one...and although he didn't ask it of me, I'm sure he could probably find a place to use it in upcoming issues.

Luigi is doing great by the way. By day 3 he was completely trained on the puppy pads, going on his own and then anxiously anticipating which one of us was going to give him a treat for his efforts. I'm anxious to get him out for a walk when warmer weather arrives.

In a few weeks I'm going to begin mushroom hunting again. This spring I'm hunting for one of the most prized edibles, the morel. Highly sought after, I only started shrooming after morel season last year - and so I spent all year kicking myself in the ass because of not picking up the hobby sooner. Now I'm prepared. I have a handy morel hunting book and a well trained eye for finding fungi - plus plenty of superb morel habitat to snoop around. The black morel is first in April, followed by the yellow morel in May. It's going to be an exciting year!

Along with the artwork I'm sending to ODT, I'm going to send an article or two. I'd like to get some writing published along with some of my own artwork. That would be kickass to the second power. That's my next goal.

Trout season is a month away...I can't believe it! I need to get my license, and I may not even be able to have it off this year unless I trade! It all depends, but it is so important to me...I sure hope the boss realizes this and does what she can. I have to get some spinners, and equipment.

The sun is shining, the snow is melting, and spring is on its way. I can't wait!

Love n Peace

Before-bed Ramblings

2007-03-07T00:53:00.000-05:00

ODT called. Got another assignment for April's issue. :)

Love n Peace

2007-03-04T00:44:00.000-05:00

I'd like to introduce you all to my new friend, and walk companion Luigi. He's an akc registered Italian Greyhound who LOVES to be held and loved.

Small, loving, and quiet - he is the perfect dog. Max size will be 15 inches at the withers. Isn't he adorable!?

Love n Peace

Two Steps Behind

2007-03-01T16:09:00.000-05:00

More Def Leppard karaoke, featuring me. Ha! I deleted 'Sugar'. I opted to re-record it later when my voice recovered from long nights of singing in the car with Wendy. Fun fun fun!

I've always dreamed of getting up on stage with the band and singing this song with them. I love it.

Gabcast! Karaoke #2

Love n Peace

In The Bathroom In Your Face

2007-02-25T14:48:00.000-05:00

I uh...was a little bored this afternoon so I decided to do a little Def Leppard karaoke. I've been fighting a raw throat for the past few days. Singing "Sugar" sure as fuck didn't help. You'll note a couple voice cracks, and out of tune falsettos. Oh well...it was fun.

Enjoy:

Gabcast! Karaoke #1

Love n Peace

Scanner

2007-02-24T13:12:00.000-05:00

The scanner on my pc isn't working - but maybe I can take a good enough photo of the picture with my digital camera. I'm extremely pumped about it and HOPE to have some writing AND more artwork put in the April issue. I'm sure by then my inspirational cup will runneth over and I'll have plenty of nature experiences to type about.

This is a really good thing. More doors are bound to open.

Don't worry - I'm not at home at the moment. But I'm planning on showing you all exactly what I drew. I'm not really sure if I can get in some sort of trouble for it? I don't know...I'm new to this.

Love n Peace

Tummy Ache

2007-02-24T02:37:00.000-05:00

Went bar hopping tonight - ended at the second bar. I'm not much of a drinker lately. I just don't enjoy it. I've failed miserably at the whole "fitness and health" goal this month. Nicer weather should help me out some. It's too fucking cold to walk right now.

Got my copy(s) of ODT in the mail today. Awesome!

Love n Peace

before-bed ramblingz

2007-02-23T01:11:00.000-05:00

Short day tomorrow in regards to work. So little hours these days. Gotta love that. (Particularly when you want a car as badly as I do.) Been wasting a lot of time doodling...drinking...and eating junk food. Came up with some pretty good doodles though. Hoping to get out for a night on the town soon. Alchohol is evil though...I haven't felt much like drinking.

Spring sort of gave us a peep show. The snow melted some, revealing grass beneath. Now it's covered again just a day after it melted.

Gotta love the winter to spring transition.

Love n Peace

Art

2007-02-21T18:17:00.000-05:00

So I talked to the managing editor of ODT today. He loved the cartoon I drew. The fact that I drew an 88 on his hat (some personalized meaning - which he had no clue I knew about him) really threw him for a loop. It will be in the March issue and was "good enough to keep large" on the page. So that's awesome.

In other news the vice president of the PTA called. They're doing something different this year in having live animal reference in one of the rooms of the convention center. Two sculpters will be working from life in the room, and the vp asked if I'd be willing to do some 2D art to go along with the mood. I'll be answering questions from random passers by he thinks, but other than that it's very unformal. Plus, it's always great to draw from live reference. There's even going to be an artificial pond set up with waterfowl!

I survived first shift...like I always do. I hate my job though, honestly. There's so much bullshit and backstabbing - plus dealing with the public. It's all just kind of wearing down on me. Maybe one day I'll have a name for myself in the outdoors field and will be able to make a living at that which I love.

American Idol hasn't really been hitting the spot with me this year. Malakai is my favorite so far...but I don't think he's quite good enough to win the competition. In fact, I don't think any of the people seem good enough to win the competition! But...someone will. Hopefully the girls bring it on tonight. Also - I hope they all brush up and get better. They usually do as the season progresses.

Totally lovin' the new CD's.

Later gators....

Love n Peace

New CD'z

2007-02-20T00:18:00.000-05:00

Foreigner (2 disc greatest hits)
The Beatles 1
The Culture Club (greatest hits)

Pretty cool shit.

As always is the case with me, I can't sleep on this eve of a first shift. I've gotta be up in 5 hours for work and I'm only beginning to get tired. I hate mixed shifts. My body can't get used to one or the other. In any scenario...I'm off to bed. I need all the beauty sleep I can get my grubby mits on.

Love n Peace

Stuff

2007-02-17T13:40:00.000-05:00

Went to Citifinancial. Same rules apply; no credit whatsoever = co-signer. Let me say that it is a real BITCH trying to establish credit! I've applied for a walmart credit card - hopefully I'm approved for more than a dollar.

Work was crazy last night. I only work four hours tonight and I'm partying at Wendy's afterward. Those of you who have my cell phone number, text me if you so desire. I love talking when I'm drunk.

Love n Peace

Lathargic

2007-02-14T23:55:00.000-05:00

Spent most of the day on my ass. Fat cells multiplying, I hate two helpings of mom's homeade lasagna, 4 no-bakes, a carmel apple encrusted in heath and m&ms and two massive hunks of extra sharp cheddar cheese.

Major snow accumulation forced me to go fix my feeders and refill the platform. I watched from brother's bedroom window as a pair of cardinals skillfully de-shelled the sunflower seeds from the platform feeder today. Also - typically feeding on the ground - I noticed slate-colored Juncos feeding from none other than the thistle feeder! Desperate times call for desperate measures I suppose.

In regards to the car, I'm going to give it a few days to marinate. I'm gonna wait and let word get around that I need a co-signer. If nobody steps up I have another plan. I'd rather get the co-signer though.

Went outside and played in the snow for a bit with the little bro. Had fun, but became exhausted quickly. Even felt like I was going to puke after trotting uphill 20 yards in the deep snow.

American Idol was ok. It starts getting GOOD next week. Yay.

Love n Peace

Snowy Night

2007-02-14T00:42:00.000-05:00

It's really snowing here in PA tonight. There have been quite a few deer coming down out of the woods and snooping around the neighborhood. Three of them were in my yard a few moments ago.

It's one of those nights where the town has a pink glow to it. The kind of night I love to walk.

Got my first assignment from the editor of ODT...so that's good. Still working on more loan alternatives for the car. Pray for a door opening for me. I need this.

Off to bed for now...

Love n Peace

No Credit

2007-02-12T13:49:00.000-05:00

Went to the bank. The loan officer said she'd have no problem giving me the loan for a car because of my reliability, the fact I live at home, and the fact that they know me -- but I need a co-signer if Omega is going to approve. Being that my parents had to file bankruptcy, the new challenge is finding that person. Hopefully I'll find one soon.

I'm getting closer to a car, I can just feel it.

Love n Peace

Birds

2007-02-11T13:39:00.000-05:00

Just some shots of my bird feeding station. I've only recently started this hobby - although I've been birding since I was about 5 years old. I had a huge entry typed up on birdfeeding but mom blew a fuse and blogger's "recover post" feature is about as useful as tits on a boar.

My feeding station (all supplies purchased at Walmart):

Wire mesh hanging style feeder. Dark green, with mesh just large enough to allow the black oil sunflower seeds through when tugged upon by a hungry bird. Also, a specialized thistle feeder -- perfect for goldfinches and siskins. Note: my feeders are all placed near "cover" for the birds to fly to in case of danger. This is VERY important! Also - I had to buy the hooks to hang the feeders from.

Hanging platform. Pretty universal. I mix corn, sunflower, and millet to please a wide variety of birds. Some birds prefer to feed on the ground, or flat surfaces. This benefits both perch feeders and ground feeders such as cardinals, juncos, and sparrows. Mine is rather small...but it will suffice for now.

Suet. Popular among all birds, and especially birds who have an insectivorous diet. There are are a wide variety of "flavors". I recommend a mesh bag or 'suet cage'. There are a variety of feeders for suet.

Noted species that frequent the feeders so far?

Black-capped Chickadee
Tufted Titmous
Juncos
Song Sparrows
Northern Cardinals
Carolina Wren
House Finch
House Sparrow
Gray Squirrel
Downy Woodpecker

I'm having a blast with this. The chickadees are getting pretty brave when they see me fill the feeders. I'm hoping to eventually get some to eat out of my palm.

Love n Peace

Before-bed Ramblings

2007-02-11T02:32:00.001-05:00

Another day in paradise has drawn to a close and another sun has finally had it's say.

Work was rather uneventful. Tonight I was dealing with two trainees on register. Luckily - I'm a strong register person and therefore had little problem when both of the newbies were shooting questions at me. I felt anxious and upset when I first arrived, but my mind eventually cleared a bit after 4 headache pills in an hour's time. Headaches and anxiety are pretty typical as of late, but a great deal of my sanity could be saved depending on this week's occurances - so I guess we'll see, eh?

Work ended with a text from none other than Wendy's dad:

"I'm coming to get you @ 8."

Well that's nice.

Eight o'clock was when I was finnished. He had obviously been talking to Wendy, who wanted me to be picked up from work so I didn't freeze on my walk home. It was a great gesture... just kind of bizarre that nobody asked me first. He swept me away and off to Wendy's house I went. Nobody really even asked if I wanted to go, but it's just become such a habit that I may as well have a leash for Wendy to walk me on. Haha! It's a bit overpowering sometimes...but my own fault. Wendy's house is my second home pretty much...but I do think a teeny tiny break is in order so that I can get some things accomplished in my personal life.

Wendy and I took a ride again tonight. That said - let me advise everyone to NOT text and drive. It doesn't work. Don't try it. It'll only scare your passengers [which happened to be me tonight] and cause them to grab the steering wheel to avoid certain death. Jesus was I ever mad! Since she wasn't paying attention, I threw in Def Leppard's "Hysteria" album and listened to a few tracks. Normally I avoid playing it because she doesn't "know" it...but I deserved it having sat through plenty of songs that I didn't know myself in her CD collection on previous rides.

During the ride tonight, I had one hell of a time singing. My voice kept cracking and was dry and gritty as hell for lower registered songs. I sounded like total crap. During the Leppard tracks, my fearsome falsetto had all but turned into a crunchy potato chip rasp thanks to the dry heat I was inhaling from the car's heater. Cold water, also not great for the vocal cords, also made it's appearance in my throaty pipes - furthering the damage by (probably) tightening the cords. I'm not a professional vocalist or anything...but I know that dry and cold is bad news for anyone trying to carry a tune. I may as well just carried my tune right out the damn door tonight.

One more day of hell, then three off. Woo!

Love n Peace

Did someone say BUTT sex!?

2007-02-10T13:53:00.000-05:00

Love n Peace

Random

2007-02-10T12:29:00.000-05:00

Bamm-Bamm Berry Pebbels are pretty good. Go out and buy yourself a box.

I have a headache "this morning". I use the term "this morning" losely because it is now almost 1 o'clock in the afternoon. However, when you stay up until 4 AM you can hardly be expected to be up at a decent hour. Staying up until the wee hours of the morning has become habit for me in recent years. I've been quite the night owl, and God knows I'll never get the worm if I don't try a little harder to be the early bird.

I'm horny today. Probably a bit too much information for some of you (if not ALL of you) out there...but it's a plain and simple fact. Michael hasn't had any sweet, sweet lovin' since October and he is one hell of a lonely boy. Which brings me to a question: did you all know I lost my virginity back in the fall? I'm not sure if I shared that tidbit with you...but now you know.

I should be better equiped to find love very soon.
___

My contacts are bothering me. I have to call walmart because the contact on my right eye doesn't seem to be a toric lense. It's blurry...and I think it's the cause of a lot of my headaches. The left is fine, but I'm about due for a new pair as I've been wearing these ones for quite some time.

___

I'm kind of anxious for next week.

To begin with, I'm going to go to the bank and try for a starter personal loan to get me a car. I'm fed up with "saving" - because it just isn't working for me. A loan would be much better and in addition would allow me to earn some credit. (I have NO credit - bad or good - and I'm twenty-two.) I presume I may not even get the damn loan...but they know me pretty well at my bank, they know I've been at my job for 4 years, and they know I'm a good seed. Even if it's only like 4,000 dollars - it'll help.

Ideally I'd like to get a loan around 5,000 dollars.

Dad and I stopped by a very reliable used car dealership. Dad's bought many-a-car there with no problems. Some of the vehicles (like his Isuzu Trooper) were purchased at 100,000 miles and STILL ran for years with little more than occassional exhaust problems. One of the cars I want is only a couple thousand dollars and appears to be in good condition. If I got a PERSONAL loan rather than a CAR loan I could then use the extra money for my NEXT goal: getting my teeth fixed.

As most of you know I have a space in my front teeth. Though my friends detest the notion of invisalign or braces to fix it - I have to do it for me. For me, it's unsightly, and makes me a less attractive person. Sure...it's unique...but it seems to be getting worse. I'm determined to fix it. SO...around the same time I go to the bank to get this loan, I'm going to go for a free consoltation to the orthodontist up the street to see what would work for me. I'll likely set up some sort of payment plan and be on my way to a much better smile.

Well...that's all for now. Time for a shower.

Love n Peace

Before-Bed Ramblings

2007-02-10T02:19:00.000-05:00

As expected, here I am at 2:19 AM, blogging.

Just came back from Subway...actually a Subway within a Snappy's convenience store. What does this mean? It means twenty-four hour subs - but most importantly: chicken bacon ranch wraps at my convenience.

Wendy and I rode around down for the majority of the night jamming to music. Tonight it was Mariah Carey, Earth Wind and Fire, Michael W. Smith, and the Beach Boys. It wasn't long after we started though that we ended up at the Snappy's convenience store to hang out with one of the employees we're friends with.

Work passed without much event tonight. I of course, was allowed to wear jeans if I paid a dollar - and so I did. My new spiffy boot cut jeans...from Walmart. (Hey...a boys gotta save ya know!) Somehow it made work a lot more bearable, and fun. Things were a little crazy tonight (as they usually are on Fridays), but it was like the new jeans had given me energy. It also helped that I worked with Karen - a lesbian friend of mine. We always have a blast.
____

So...although I've been pretty quiet on here, there has been plenty going on to write about. Firstly, my brother has undergone psychiatric evaluation to learn about the effects of his peers constantly tormenting him in school. Having spent a week in a mental health ward, undergone various treatments, and being medicated - my brother is now back home in a "half way" program where a teacher comes to the house. Mom's thinking about home schooling him permanently; the harrassment is THAT bad.

I won't go into details...but he was seriously suicidal. We know it for a fact.

Part of what he gets picked on is about his gay brother. (Yeah...that's me btw.) So naturally, that's been weighing heavily on my mind as to what I could do or say to make up for something like that. Up until a week or two ago, I thought he wasn't aware of my sexuality. It was something we just kind of hid from him I guess. But give the boy credit...he found my myspace with little effort and dicovered the fact on his own. (He doesn't care either.)

I know it's natural to want to make up for the pain I caused him by 'being what I am' - but should I really have to apologize for something I can't help? Perhaps it's the duty of his enemie's parents to apologize for breeding such hateful little children.

Who knows?

Love n Peace

Random Things

2007-02-09T14:55:00.000-05:00

Got some photos developed...including one of me and Phil Collen together in Pittsburgh during the 'ROA' tour. Most of the others didn't turn out (being that i used a disposable camera) except one of me and Sandy, and a distant shot of Tesla's lead vocalist. The space in my teeth and sweaty hair bother me.

If I can find a scanner I'll post'em.

I went to Walmart tonight to pick up some new work pants. I also realized that they had some decent jeans - Levi's and Wrangler which were bootcut (my favorite). Being that I can now wear jeans to work on Friday and that most of my jeans don't fit -- I picked up two pairs.

I expect to meet with both an orthodonitist AND my bank [loan for a car] before the end of the week. I'm sure I'll be writing in here again sometime tonight.

Love n Peace

What's Really Goin' On

2007-02-09T10:47:00.000-05:00

So...I have about $900 saved for a car. It's not a whole lot, but I'm getting closer to getting *something*. I think getting a car will completely change my life. I'll be able to go fishing whenever I please and take off to go out to gay bars and meet new people. I'll be able to romp around in the wilderness whenever I feel like it. It'll be great.

On the homefront there's been a lot going on. Mother and I had a collission over my MySpace blog where she read my opinion on her and father. I felt so bad when I saw how bad it hurt her. So yeah...I felt like a total ass about that because the fact is, I love my mom more than anything on this planet.

Love n Peace

Memory Lane

2007-02-09T02:45:00.000-05:00

Standing in my jungle of a bedroom I noticed the large blue plastic 'tub' I keep not only my gay pornos in - but also my Def Leppard collection. It's been awhile since I opened it.

On top, delicately cushioned by my vintage Adrenalize t-shirt was the famed book Animal Instinct. Now, Monique may have to refresh my memory as to how I won it - but I know I won it off of her website. Hmmm...was it for Phil Collen Psychotropia? I can't seem to remember! But what I do know is that holding it in my hands brought back some memories. Memories of DefSolNet, the Satellite Of Love forum and just all around "warm" concert memories.

After pausing long enough to reminisce, I dug deeper - revealing VAULT and SLANG in vinyl LP form. I can vividly remember bidding ferociously for these to add to my collection of Leppard LPs - most of which were relatively easily attained. (I passed on an On Through The Night LP and wished I hadn't!) With that, I pulled on a vintage HYSTERIA TOUR t-shirt and began taking new, updated photos of myself. It was Michael...the Def Leppard fan. It was the nostalgia, the vibe, and the barely detectable magic of those memories that pulled me into that blue tub - and now here I was, back at square one, getting just as excited about Don't Shoot Shotgun, Rocket, and Armageddon It as I had in 1999 when I first got the VAULT CD.

Unlike the vast majority of you...my die-hard fan days didn't start back in 1983 with PYROMANIA, or even '87 with HYSTERIA. I mean...in some ways it did...but it wouldn't be until 10 years after the end of the HYSTERIA tour that I would even "discover" Def Leppard as an essential ingredient in everyday music.

I remember opening VAULT on the edge of my bed. I can remember delaying for days...because I wasn't "really" excited for any of the music, other than "Sugar". In all honesty, at that point I wouldn't have been able to tell Def Leppard from (gasp) POISON!!!! (Which admittingly was the other CD I got for Christmas.) Having listened to the POISON greatest hits with mild entertainment, I put in VAULT and cranked the volume. It was immediately appearant WHICH band was superior. It was like night and fucking day, honestly. The dimensions in the music were awesome. The creative"ness" to the songs unique. And the signature sound was so defined in Def Leppard's music, that it brought goosebumps and a wave of memories.

Each and every song brought some sort of memory. "Rocket", "Armageddon It", Let's Get Rocked", and "Love Bites," were by far the most memorable -- and goosebump-evoking!

"So THATS who sings this song!!!" I shouted as Armageddon It played on.

I can remember sitting in the back of the car in 1988 (four years old) and listening to ROCKET on the radio. I remember loving it. And somehow, those haunting 'call to arms' vocals resonated within my brain bringing me back to that very point in 1988.

I had forgotten all about these songs! They were like audio landmarks that took me back to certain points in my childhood that I hadn't ever revisited up to that point.

So here I am....re-discovering Def Leppard for the second time, after a dry-spell or "lepression" if you will. The band is in the studio making new music...there is a certain positive energy within the Leppard camp...and I have a feeling this next album is going to rock our socks off.

I can't fucking wait!

Love n Peace

Back In Your Face [ like i've never been away ]

2007-02-08T20:05:00.000-05:00

I've been slowly but surely dipping my toes back in to the Def Leppard fan community. I've been posting on the Def Leppard Satellite Of Love Forum and on occassion, the official board as well. Most of my time has been spent on myspace as of late...but I'm doing ok. Thanks for asking, Jude.

Love n Peace

Anna Nicole Smith: Death from Cardiac Arrest

2007-02-08T19:30:00.000-05:00

Shocking.

Years ago, I watched her reality series on television. She was a plump, boistrous bimbo, ex-playmate, who was famous for her bizarre marriage. In some ways she suffered from Paris Hilton syndrome - meaning she is famous for having no talent - but I can't help but feel some remorse for a woman that I feel had reached the end of her rope. I can't help but wonder if it was suicide, affects of diet pills, or perhaps drug addiction.

I'm sure we'll be reading about this one for awhile in the magazines.

Love n Peace

Def Grillz -- Def Leppard featuring Nelly

2007-02-08T19:17:00.000-05:00

Many will undoubtedly disagree, but I think a collaboration between Def Leppard and someone from the rap genre could work. Pour Some Sugar On Me, the snappiest and rappiest of Leppard tunes works perfectly alongside this Nelly tune. With the popularity of music styles in the vein of "Hollaback Girl" and "Fergalicious" - I think a Leppard song with the appropriate beat could do the job if planned delicately. Let's face it Def Leppard has an uncanny ability of getting borderline rap with their rockers (Sugar, Gravity, Slang). Truth be told, it's what they're best at. Regardless of what you think...it works well for this rap tune.

Love n Peace

MySpace

2007-02-02T03:21:00.000-05:00

Due to some problems - including my brother being harrassed @ school without relent - I've deleted, and created a new myspace. This blog too may change.

Add me if you'd like. I need to get a lot of my old friends back.

Danger Zone

2007-01-28T03:31:00.000-05:00

Current mood: drunk

What a rollercoaster of a night.

As predicted in the last entry, I did manage to get my haircut. I was a tad late, embarrassed myself by insulting an old woman (who I didn't realize was the owners mother), and sprung off to Rite Aid to spend 88.18 on various heigenic supplies. And, as mentioned in the last entry, I managed to get my butt down to the local benefit at one of the local firehall/clubs to have a good time. A good time was had by all, and there was close to $600 raised for the family whom the dance was to benefit. Take that in with the fact that not a whole lot of people showed up, AND the fact that this town only has about 6,000 people in it and you have some pretty impressive statistics.

My aunt Leslie came down, my best friend was basically in charge of all the money and door prizes. My best friend's parents came, and a lot of other people (including my boss) showed for the dance itself. Within due time I had downed around 4 captain and cokes, and a long island ice tea. I burned calories by dancing without relent on the tiny dancefloor, accented by the head of a mighty indian chief. The music was jammed out by one of the local police officers/DJs.

As always is the case, I spent a lot of time dancing alone -- and on occassion a stranger would hope on to dance with me. Eventually everyone was buzzing enough to get their groove thing on, and before I knew it I was dancing in a sea of people I barely knew. Some knew me from previous dances, others were just casual aquaintences that knew me from Sheetz, but ALL had a great time.

As the night waned, the "crowd" - if you would call it as much - dispersed into the unknown, leaving only a handfull of crazies (including myself) to continue getting their "groove thing" on to the music.

Wendy found someone pretty cool to hang with. And most of my dance partners had either gone, or found their "true loves" to wrap up the occassion with. Meanwhile, I danced alone, grinding to imaginary Heath Ledgers alongside the outer-rim of the dancefloor.
Suddenly - a smack in the arm.

I turned to see what had hit me only to find a total stranger and his wife dancing with one another. He had turned and smacked me with his hat, following up with a derogotory "fag" comment.

Now, the thing here is that I wasn't bothering anyone. I was dancing alone, minding my own business, and waiting for some other stranger to hop in and dance with me. There was nothing said, or done to evoke such madness. For the most part alone (most of my contacts, except Wendy, had left the firehall), I had no answers or retort for the man - who appeared to be in his early to mid fifeties.

In short time the song ended, and I decided that I was going to retire before I wound up getting jumped in the parking lot, or worse. When a relatively unpopular song came on, everyone retired to their seats, and I flipped open my phone to figure out just who was driving me home that evening. (Wendy's dad was allegedly the volunteer. Her mom had texted me earlier, and I was double checking to make sure she hadn't texted me during my dance fever.)

At that point, I was very drunk. The fifety-some year old man was at the table behind me with his white haired wife, and made some ignorant comment about me.

"Oh look...he's calling his boyfriend." he jested.
Again, I kept my mouth shut, shifting to the other side of the hall to avoid trouble. I opted not to tell anyone at that time because I feared one of my drunken friends would let their beer muscles do the talking, and get us both in a whole heap of trouble.

So, Nicki and I went outside. There was a wreck on Washington avenue, and most of the fire crew had dissipated into the night. Wendy overheard me telling some of the others of what had happened in the club, and needless to say she was livid. Thank GOD I kept it to myself.
In any scenario, the guy that ended up being Wendy's date drove us home. They, and Wendy's parents are currently in the living room watching Jackass 2. I however, can simply not rest without a little venting.

I will probably never be back to Hookies firehall again. I'm sure some are probably glad for that, but I have my fair share of friends who are members, and it sucks that a single person can ruin a good time for me completely.

I need to stick to my own element. For when on the dance floor, mister Mikey is a danger to himself - particularly when in the company of redneck, closeminded assholes like the one I met tonight.
Whatever. I know who cares about me, and that's all that matters. I'm not going to let some scumbag dirty ass mother fucker bother me. I just know better for next time.

In any case...it's time for a rest. I'm who I am...take it or fucking leave it!

Peace'n'Love to all.

Lighting

2007-01-22T12:07:00.001-05:00

I was experimenting with different lighting and stuff back in December. I just thought I'd post some of the results. The top two are my favorite.

Hey Gorgeous!

2007-01-22T12:04:00.000-05:00

Standing poised at my cash register talking to Rita, I was taken by complete surprise as a man somewhere in his late 20's to early 30's turned and looked at me directly in the eyes as he hurried to the bathroom.

"Hey gorgeous!" he exlaimed loudly, as he passed by.

There was instant shock from my face - as there were definitely other people around the store. Who was this person? For a couple minutes I pondered, waiting for the person to come back from the restroom and zoom right back out the door.

Well, that is exactly what he did - but before I could ask him any questions he departed with "see ya later gorgeous!".

Who the hell is this person?

It could only be someone from the internet. I've never really seen this person before - in fact, I can't remember exactly what he looked like other than the fact that he had lighter colored hair, and a t-shirt that was tucked in the front. Hmmmm...

Whatever the case, it made my day interesting. Here's hoping he comes in again so I can rake his mind for details.

Until next time...

Goals

2007-01-16T23:46:00.000-05:00

2007 is off to one hell of a start for me.

~~quit smoking~~
~~get job with ODT publication~~

So, this is day 9 (maybe 8 -- I'm losing track) of being smoke free for me. I'm extremely proud of this accomplishment because for the first time in my smoking history, I felt REAL addiction to the cigarette. I was smoking almost -- and sometimes more than a pack a day. However, with this new health and fitness mindframe I gave it up. So far I've survived a drinking / bullshitting session with my aunt (both of which make me want to smoke), various stressful situations, and even direct temptation. I almost caved. But I've gone this far, why cave now?

As for my 'diet plan', a lack of guidelines and knowledge made being dedicated to it nearly impossible. Truthfully, I didn't even know what I was being dedicated TO. There was no plan. Determined to beat this, I talked to my cousin (who is 22, and majoring in sports nutrition and fitness) for the first time in awhile. He offered me help, and I'm taking it.

One topic we discussed were the ever-popular low carb diets. This was his opinion:

"The thing is, low carb diets have no actual physiological basis. I have no fucking clue what sort of doctor this Dr. Atkins was, but take my word for it, he clearly never studied metabolism of nutrients in the human body. Now, I could wax philosophic about muscle glycogen, carbohydrate sparing effect and maximal O2 consumption of your skeletal muscle fiber, ect et al, but your diet needs to be specific to your individual goals. I didn't read your whole blog, so I have no idea where you where going with it, but if you have any questions, just ask. It's kind of what I do. Or so they tell me. Cool pics by the way, I just got a digital camera and would like to get into taking pics, but the thing is, I'm functionally retarded. "

Huh? Okay...so, rather than shooting for counting carbs - he has me counting calories all this week on a meal planner. We're going to figure out my weekly calorie intake, and adjust that to what it SHOULD be. As pure speculation, he adds that I will probably be cutting about 250 calories a day, and doing 250 calories worth of exercise a day - losing around a pound of body fat a week which will allow me to shed 20 lbs by July.

First things first though...let's see just how much fatty, calorie-filled foods I consume in a week. Then we'll start worrying about shedding it.

___

So, as can be expected, I'm really excited about the Outdoor Times call. The editor seemed really enthusiastic about working my "talents" into the publication. That will likely be discussed tomorrow when I get off work.

My assumption is that I will begin as a contributor, rather than a full-time employee -- although full-time is my ultimate goal. While it may take time to earn such a position, I'm confident that I can achieve even that in time. It's hardly a set back though -- especially considering I officially have a foot in the door. I'll keep you posted on that.

___

So now for my two other goals. The fitness goal is now a serious work in progress - one which will not be fully completed until around July if all goes as planned.

A car is financial priority right now. I'm getting a decent income tax check this year, so that with a couple checks stashed away with it should get me a set of wheels to get me from point a to point b. If I get the ODT job full time - I may finally be able to afford to get out on my own.

Oh yes...2007 is going to be awesome because I'm making it that way.

ODT

2007-01-16T13:43:00.000-05:00

The Outdoor Times "LOVED" my stuff, and are very enthusiastic about somehow working me into the publication. I'm not sure if it's going to be full time...or part time...but I will know a lot more tomorrow when the editor calls me to talk about it all.

Wish me luck!!!!

P.S. - They loved the mushrooms. ;)

The Anti-puff

2007-01-15T20:18:00.000-05:00

One week. No cigarette.

Go me!

New Gwen Video >> Sweet Escape

2007-01-10T12:12:00.000-05:00

Title track from the new album. I'm lovin' it. Gwen's hair and expressions are very much like they were back in 96 for the Tragic Kingdom record -- specifically, the Spiderwebs video. Kind of a cool reference for us ND fans to notice.

Leave it to Gwen to make prison glamorous. ;)

Music Video:SWEET ESCAPE (by Gwen Stefani)

Music Video Code provided by Video Code Zone

Health > Snow At the Reservoir

2007-01-09T17:54:00.000-05:00

It's been forty-eight hours since I've had a cigarette.

Food eaten yesterday:

1 bowl of granola cereal w/whole milk
1 roasted chicken salad w/ranch, croutons muenster cheese cubes, egg, carrot, and romain (chicken seasoned - but unbreaded)
2 dropped sandtart cookies X
2 glasses of orange drink w/the salad. ?

I'm not feelin' the whole "anti-carb" vibe. Reason being, I'm increasing my physical activity. Low-carb diets are for lazy people in my opinion - although like everything else they should be watched to a degree. Giving them up though? That would be far worse than giving up smoking for me. I mean, I love bread - I'll just cut back how much I eat. I adore wheat bread, granola, and grainy product. I worship milk, and adore fresh fruit.

So, instead of following some strict regimental diet, I'm going to just eat healthy and increase physical exercise. Right now I feel great because I've been eating better for a couple days now. A couple days ago, I had a roasted chicken wrap with tons of peppers and veggies. Sure...there was ranch and buffalo sauce, but not a whole lot. For a drink I had a diet pomegranate white tea. I've also included more water into my diet.

The prior day it was portabello mushroom sandwhiches in place of steak. With the onions and peppers only slightly cooked, the most unhealthy thing on the sandwhich was a swipe of mayo, and the very white bread it sat on. Compared to what I usually eat though? It's a big improvement.

No potato chips. No soda. (Soda isn't a big deal to me anyway.) I will continue to drink alchohol occassionally, but with diet sodas only...and I'll spend some extra time on the dance floor. I'll make it work.

Having said all of that, I'm going on day four...and it's been a very gradual process. The eating healthier started three days ago, but this is my first full day without so much as a wiff of a cigarette. So far so good, eh?

____

I took a walk today. I've had so much damn time off work that I've evaluated and re-evaluated my current situation down to the tiniest detail. As I wait for ODT to call me back about the position they're hiring for, I continually cut myself up into tiny bits. Haha...I'm just really worried that I'm not going to get the gig. If I don't, I guess that's life...but I really need to find something other than what I have. I need a real job...I need a career.

Thoughts of college have been lingering in my head. Maybe someday I'll get back to school. I feel like such a waste, and I'm pretty jealous that I missed out on the "college life". I see my friends graduating college...and I look around at what I have. It's pathetic really. I won't lose hope though. I just hope my natural abilities can work together to give me some sort of a boost in this world. I'm falling behind...missing out...but most importantly, waking up to these very facts.

I took some pretty nice pictures today. At one point, it began snowing while I was at the park which made for some interesting photos. Enjoy:

Canada Goose, oiling his feathers. (Waterfowl have oil glands that waterproof their feathers.)

King Quackers and Snowball, taking a rest. Snowball looks extremely comfortable, doesn't she? Haha!

Eastern Gray Squirrel...who just couldn't leave me alone.

Miss Mocha:

Mallard:

One of the local graveyards, not far from the pond:

Well...that's all for now.

Until next time...

"Fowl" Weather

2007-01-06T13:06:00.000-05:00

You know, I'm really fed up! I want winter to get here! Here it is January and not so much as a flake of snow is on the damn ground! It's rained plenty...but it's only been cold enough to put a thin clear sheet of ice on the very edges of Reservoir Pond. This morning there was none because it was too warm. The wind is blowing violently as if old man winter is clawing and fighting with autumn for the thrown. Truth be told, I kind of hope he wins. I want some snow dammit!

That said, I opted to visit Reservoir Pond to say hello to some old friends.

The sun was squinty-eyed bright, as seen by the self portrait below.

Canada Geese:

I was pleased to see three of the ducks that I feed were still very much alive. King Quackers was looking especially ambitious.

A pair of wild mallards intermingled with the domestic breeds making quick work of pieces of cracked corn and anything edible on the bottom of the pond edge.

Other shots:

Diet, Health, Etc

2007-01-06T02:09:00.000-05:00

I have 3 smokes left, and I'm done. I also stocked up on soy milk, granola, and health foods. Time to change things and start taking better care of my body.

No word from Outdoor Times, although the guy said it would be weeks before I heard anything since January's issue is already completed. We'll see. I'm anxious, worried, and optimistic...depending on what day it is.

---

Dating life is non-existant right now, although I'm talking to a few people. One guy called me new years. I've never talked to him before, but gave him my number because he USED to live in Altoona (and visits frequently) and is into wildlife illustration and trout fishing. It was a drunken awkward moment.

---

Still no car because I'm blowing it all on stupid shit like Brokeback Mountain, coats, and cigarettes.

Until next time....

Career Opportunity

2006-12-30T13:18:00.000-05:00

Portfolio is officially in the mail. Wish me luck on this Outdoor Times job.

Before-Bed Ramblings

2006-12-22T22:48:00.000-05:00

It's 10:48 at night, and it's been a very rough night at work. Everyone who was shopping today passed through our doors for coffee, gas, and a quick supper. Some were pleasant and understanding, others ignorant, rude, or even drunk. Needless to say, I have approximately 7 hours before I have to be back in that hell-hole, and I'm not looking forward to it one bit! What's more is that there are EXTRA people working in the morning. I'm really not even NEEDED. Why don't I speak up? Because everyone's hours have been cut, and now I'm back to working somewhere in the 25 - 30 hour workweek.

I look at this cut in hours as a great opportunity. I ran to A.C. Moore and bought some bristol, ink, and quill pens with the intention of focusing obsessively on my artwork. Months have passed since my art exhibit, and having lived with the artwork (seen in the previous post) for so long, I see a lot that can be improved upon. These new winter hours will allow that.

Funnily enough, I got an early Christmas present from my friend; a book dedicated to my idol Ned Smith's PA GAME NEWS coverart. I read a bit about Ned, and it talked about how it was a layoff from the shoe factory in which he worked that finally allowed him to break into the art field extensively. Hopefully the same will happen for me soon. All I know is that with these chaotic work days, it can't happen soon enough!

Now, if only the copies of my artwork would get here so I can get this thing in the mail!

Happy Holidays everyone! And thanks for the Christmas cards, and compliments on the artwork.

Photos >> Me and Some Art

2006-12-22T12:37:00.000-05:00

Some photos from a couple nights ago, and some shitty scannings of some of my artwork from the hospital show. Low quality, but you'll get the point.

Yummy Head To Toe

2006-12-22T12:30:00.000-05:00

Birds

2006-12-17T00:09:00.000-05:00

With it's cylindrical, wire mesh body filled to the top with black oil sunflower seeds, my new feeder is ready to serve a bounty of small songbirds. Each winter they come in hordes; jays, finches, cardinals, sparrows, nuthatches, juncos, and woodpeckers. Today a beautiful male cardinal zipped overhead as I hung my feeder from the arbor. He emitted sharp "chip" noises as he watched from the security of a shrub.

Due to my fanaticism of ornithology, I opted to contribute to my neighbors collection of feeders by adding the feeder of which I speak to our own property. I hope to add quite a few more in the next month or so. In time, this will create a huge feeding station which will hopefully attract an array of bird species. As of now, I've only added the one green wire mesh feeder, which holds only oil sunflower seeds. However, in due time I will be adding a thistle feeder, some suet, and hopefully a platform feeder in some form.

Expect some bird photos in due time.

Michael...the photographer?

2006-12-15T12:48:00.000-05:00

After some hesitation, I finally decided to get some prints made of my photography for my Outdoor Times portfolio. While a few of the larger photos seemed blurry, others turned out beautifully. I also got some smaller sizes, still large enough to mat or frame.

Don't worry, not all the photographs were of mushrooms, but a LOT were. Afterall, the guy I spoke with encouraged articles on mushrooming, and mushrooms are my favorite photography subject.

DL Fan Club

2006-12-13T13:48:00.001-05:00

The Def Leppard fan club SUCKS! I can't believe I paid the amount of money I did to become a member of a fanclub than hasn't updated anything in a LONG TIME! I've been a member for a couple months now, and there have been virtually no benefits to me. For the love of God, is it really worth the cost just to get three new videos?

That said, they also sent me my fanclub t-shirt, that was completely the wrong size for what I ordered! I'm an XL, I PUT XL, and still they sent me a small.

BOOOOO! I want my damn money back.

Day 2 of 3

2006-12-13T13:38:00.001-05:00

So, here I am....half sick to my stomach after a mere two drinks of Captain' and Coke last night. With the amount of cigarettes I've been inhaling, combined with junk foods, spicy foods, and my inept ability to make any night off a night for "a drink or two" of Captain Morgan...I'm thinking a great change is in order.

I've still got loads of cigarettes left in this pack. I smoked two in a row just now, something I almost never do. I've been going through [almost] a pack a day, which by my history is almost a ridiculous thing to even comprehend. I've never been a big smoker, but I can feel the addiction more than I ever have in my life. Not good. As for the Captain Morgan, he hasn't really become a problem in regards to the 'frequency' of drinking, but rather, just that my stomach cannot handle the spiced rum like it used to. Belly aches are almost inevitable, even after a few drinks. The cap'n is not nearly as kind to me as he's been in the past year or so since we 'met'.

In other news, we finally got our Christmas tree. This is the latest I ever remember getting one, as we typically get it by the first Saturday in December. This year, we're 10 days late.

The tree we got we cut down from my grandparents. (They have bordered their field edge with varieties of blue spruce, norway spruce, and douglass fur. There are benefits to all, and downfalls to each as well. The Douglass has limp branches. Heavy Christmas ornaments won't hang properly, and often weigh the decorated branches down, causing (often times) the ornament to plop to the floor.

The spruce is my favorite due to strong branches, and a lovely piney-citrus odor. However, it is not without it's vices! The spruce has shorter, sharper needles, and is a big pain (literally) to get into a stand without hand protection. The needles prick you from all angles, and the odorific bastard of a tree even has needles on parts of it's trunk...so beware!

So, we went with the blue spruce, the variety with a bluish 'frosted' tinge to the needles. It's my favorite. The individual tree itself is pretty tall, and was one of the skinnest we could find in the bunch. While we typically go for monstrous trees, our spruce this year looks as though it's been put on some sort of unGodly Hollywood diet. It's tall, thin, and very streamlined. That said, we went for this look because it looked "old fashioned".

Enough about my flesh puncturing pine....and on to other bigger and better things. I'm on day two of three days off from the j-o-b. It's kind of nice, as I gathered time yesterday to get my haircut (finally) and get our Christmas tree. That aside, we also went to hear the Allegheny Chorale sing at the Prespeterian Church down by BiLo. It was pretty cool stuff, with some very talented people. My grandma is one of the sopranos. In any case, she's been trying to talk me into joining ever since she has. And now, since I saw it in person, she has OTHERS in the chorale telling me to join. I might do it just for the sake of having a new, fresh, extracuricular activity that involves something I love to do. In this case, singing.

I'm not sure if I mentioned this or not, but one of the head-hanchos from Outdoor Times called me back finally (he'd been on a hunting trip) and seemed very enthusiastic about me sending in a portfolio of writing, artwork, and photography for a position he has open in the publication.

"I wish I'd known about you sooner" he exclaimed. "We just hired a full-time illustrator."

Well...that sucks, but he ensured me that if I would get the position that my artwork would still be used, particularly in my article. So...we'll see what happens. If I can just get my foot in the door...that'll rock enough. And maybe more doors will open for me. Maybe even the full-time illustration position? Then again, I think I'd like writing about nature AND drawing even more than just drawing by itself. Can you even imagine how happy that would make me? I mean, it would be my JOB to go out and frolick amongst trees, mushrooms, and wildlife!

I'm going to write the cover letter later today, as one of the ladies from the Allegheny Chorale wants to review it for me and make sure that I include everything that they would want to know. I want this bad, and it seems a lot of people want it for me almost as bad!

Well, aside from a review of Gwen Stefani's new "The Sweet Escape" album. That's all I have to say today really.

The Sweet Escape (released 12/5/06)

The Sweet Escape finds my favorite female artist Gwen Stefani getting a little greedy. As a No Doubt fan, I'd be ommiting the truth about how I feel if I failed to say that these "solo albums" take me back to the "Don't Speak" era, where Gwen gets all the attention and people try to get her to make her a superstar as her bandmates live in her shadow. Essentially, THAT has come true, minus the band actually breaking up.

That said, Gwen's allowed to be greedy. Love Angel Music Baby sold 7 million copies, and her tour was "almost unenjoyable" because she was pregnant with her first born Kingston James. According to Stefani, she was constantly running out of breath, and the only thing that kept her going on the tour was the vast sea of amazing fans supporting her.

Well, now there's going to be another tour. Initially, "The Sweet Escape" was going to be released as an album of leftovers LAST Christmas, with no tour. However, when you sell 7 million solo albums, and have a tour that you didn't fully enjoy, things change. In other words, the men in suits talked Gwen into yet another tour, and making even MORE new songs for The Sweet Escape, pushing the release date to 12/5/06. That said, it seems Gwen is keeping her fingers crossed that No Doubt is keeping their patience with her, and that they will understand.

In some ways though, The Sweet Escape is only a few cries short of a true No Doubt album. No Doubt bassist, and ex-boyfriend Tony Kanal penned (along with Gwen) a few of the tracks, making them in some way, No Doubt songs. "Don't Get It Twisted", "Four In The Morning", and "Flourescent" are three of those very songs, with Twisted and Four In The Morning being two of the best songs ON the album.

So let's talk about Wind It Up, the first single. Not the most obvious choice considering the entire backing track is ripped directly from The Sound Of Music, and the fact that Gwen sings about three notes during the entire song. (Beat that Janet Jackson!) However, in due time Gwens infectious yodeling, and the irresistable foot-stomper of a drum/bass line has made the track grow on me, making it a favorite, following up where Hollaback Girl left off.

The next single is the title track Sweet Escape featuring hip-hop newcomer Akon. (Not sure if it's even worth a featuring considering he has two lines!) Sweet Escape is kind of old fashioned, cheesy, like some sort of commercial where people dance around wearing poodle skirts and drinking soda pop. It IS a great track though.

It's hard to tell what will happen in the future. No Doubt (the band) is writing songs, and has been going into the studio with Gwen's blessing. The plan is for Gwen to record and write her tidbits after the 2007 Sweet Escape tour, and rejoin her ska/new wave No Doubters for a world tour, and new studio album.

Here's hoping.

I would give this album an overall rating of 4 out of 5. The highlights are definitely in the heart wrenching ballads which outdo Gwen's last solo album, with the footstomping club-songs falling a bit short of Love Angel Music Baby. At the end of the day, it all evens out.

Until next time...

Outdoor Times

2006-12-11T12:46:00.000-05:00

There is a Pennsylvania newspaper sold in stores called Outdoor Times. The magazine focuses on wildlife, hunting, fishing, mushroom hunting, etc. Well, thanks to a recommendation, they called me today. I have to prepare a cover letter, examples of my artwork, writing, and photography. The editor seemed very enthusiastic when I told him of some of my artistic achievments. He said he wished he'd found me sooner, as they just hired a FULL TIME illustrator. He then told me that I could include my own artwork and photography with my articles if I were to get the job.

Wish me luck! I'm so excited. If I get this, it'll be a dream come true.

Love, hugs, and happiness to all.
xxx

Wind Up the Sugar

2006-12-10T20:13:00.000-05:00

So, Gwen Stefani performed on the Billboard Awards. Joe and Phil of Def Leppard also made an appearance, which I thought was totally cool. Leave it to Gwen Stefani to popularize yodeling and coccain-addict haircuts. I love her so much. I'm lovin' that hair too...something about it is so sexy, it almost (I said almost) makes me want to give up on throbbing sausages altogether. According to one interview, she was going for the coccain-addict girlfriend on Scarface. She just thought it was cool, so she made it her own. Coccain and yodeling seem to mix well. LOVE HER!

Are you getting it?

2006-12-06T12:12:00.000-05:00

So, the past week or so has been weird. I just don't know what to think. I haven't really blogged much, but that isn't to say a lot hasn't been going on. I've been spending a good bit of my time in the outdoors, we had our first snow flurries, and I had a date. Gwen has a new album, AND a new DVD in stores, AND I worked my last day as supervisor yesterday. That said, in the near future I am beginning a gym workout, and am getting closer and closer to having a car with each day that passes.

Now, I'm off to take a shower. I have to call the head of Outdoor Times today, he's looking for an illustrator and I was recommended to him by a friend. Wish me luck!

I'm slowly "getting it". Yes, that's right, armageddon it.

Grape Stomp

2006-12-06T12:04:00.000-05:00

Grape Stomp.

I laughed my ass off for hours, due to having similar experiences. But on national television?

Third

2006-11-25T06:31:00.000-05:00

So it's approximately six thirty in the morning, and I'm not only awake, but blogging! What happened? Glad you asked!

I worked third shift tonight.

Anyone who knows anything about my working habits knows I was completely against third shift, particularly when I first got the job with this corperation some four years ago. In fact, third shift is completely off my "availability" in the computer so that I really NEVER have to work it. But today I did...and liked it. There are a ton of benefits to working third shift. Hmmmm...perhaps I will giv'er a go as part of my permanent schedule? We'll see.

Now sleep.

Love, hugs, and happiness to all.
xxx

Catch Up, And Win The Race

2006-11-24T15:36:00.000-05:00

I got a lot of much needed sleep last night. Upon awaking this morning, I sat up in bed and curved to look be mind me. Hollow pops resounded in my back. Then, a twist to the right. More vertabrae popped. To the bathroom for a pee (yet again), and it was off to the ATM where I picked up some cash to buy a hunting license, money for my cell phone bill, and some money for the cable bill.

It's sunny, and today I feel so much better than I did yesterday. As I walked at a steady pace sporting a beanie and sweater, music pulsed through the mp3 player I borrowed from my brother. I felt for the first time in awhile, physically vibrant. I stopped at work, grabbed a fiji and moved on. I barely spoke to any of the employees. I just didn't want to. I felt good, and I didn't want to communicate with anyone associated with that place until I absolutely had to. Don't get me wrong...I wasn't rude or anything. ;)

Off I went. I stopped at a small foodmart to get my license, but I had forgotten my OLD hunting license, a requirement to buy new.

"I'll be back."

Luckily, I live within view of the foodmart so I walked home to get my old license. On the way back, I found that my brand new pack of smokes had been dropped, and luckily I found them before someone else did. I snatched them up, got my license, walked back to the house to drop them off and went off on a jaunt. I went to reservoir park today. It was dotted with Canada Geese and a few mallards -- along side some of the regular pond residents.

OH yeah! I also found a couple Shaggy Mane mushrooms too, in the very spot they were growing back in September! It was pretty cool.

Lots of shit still on my mind, but today I'm smiling. That's what counts.

Love, hugs, and happiness to all.
xxx

Are You Happy Now?

2006-11-24T01:31:00.000-05:00

The annoyingly friendly ringtone set for my cellphone alarm danced into my eardrums at approximately 5:15 am this morning. Having just fallen asleep 4 hours and 15 minutes prior, I opted to reset the phone to 5:28. The logic in that has yet to be defined by me. It seemed like a good idea in my groggy state.

Sometime during that thirteen minute snooze, I heard the snarl of a dog coming from outside, somewhere down the dark streets that intersect in my neighborhood; quite the disturbing revelation to someone who is about to be walking on those very streets to get to work. That said, I rolled out of bed, stumbled across my clothing-layered bedroom floor, and shuffled into the bathroom for a pee. Immediately after emptying the bladder, I threw on work clothes worn the previous day, did not shower, and did not care. After snatching my Marb Milds and hat from the table, I made my way to work, ever alert of any vicious canines that might decide they want a bite. None showed themselves.

Work began. It wasn't bad. Afterall, it was Thanksgiving and the holidays are all about greatness and cheerful behavioral patterns, right? So, I got some shit done at work...things that took me by surprise that I later found "had been covered at the meeting".

So let's evaluate this situation a bit. I have oh-so-colorfully expressed my incessant problem with absorbing information in a normal manner countless times in the past month. This is a condition that is well beyond my control, because TRUST me, I would much rather absorb EVERYTHING than be cut down and humiliated over every little thing I forget. Moreover, the lack of understanding, or even WILL for other people to TRY and understand where I am coming from is disturbing. It's disturbing because I am falling down a dark tunnel, stumbling over roadblocks that are placed in front of me, and nobody can so much as throw me a fucking gatorade!

As previously stated, work ensued, and before the following "manager" even had punched in I was criticized for things that really didn't involve her. A gray shower of intolerance, and hypocritical criticisms were bestowed upon me within 10 minutes of her being in the store. What's saddest of all, is that I was not even asking questions to validate the intolerance. It was a mere case of me bringing something up that I figured out on my own, and then hearing how it was covered at the meeting. I mean...give me a break. I got it done, and it was done right. Then, a customer comes in with a 500 dollar winning lotto ticket that I sold him. After hearing that we had to make out a money order, he spun around, noted that he would go elsewhere to redeem his cash, thus saving me some work.

Relieved, I walk into the back, and say "well that works...by leaving he just saved me some work." The response from my superior was "you mean saved me work? You would've been asking ME how to do it, even though ****** showed you how a couple weeks ago."

Um...ok. To begin with, when I did the task two weeks ago, it wasn't done properly, even though the Queen of all herself showed me how to do it. So yeah, that wasn't my mistake. Furthermore, even if I HAD been shown properly, whos to say anyone of a normal human mind would remember the process in its entirety come two weeks later? Not many. Let alone the new, forgetful, anxious me.

I've really grown sick and tired of the condescending notes, and smartass remarks. I may be, and feel dumber than hell right now, but at least I have the gift of diplomacy. And I also realize that you don't earn people's respect by belittling and making someone feel an inch tall. I don't write things with a provacative undertone intended to belittle, or injure ones personal image. (Personal image being, the view someone may have of themselves ALREADY.)

So, cut down and feeling WORSE and MORE stressed out about the (evidently) horrific job I do these days, I leave the store with a lump in my throat, not knowing how I'm ever going to fix myself.

I'm a whiner. I'm slacking. I ask too many questions. I'm deaf. I don't pay attention. I don't drive. So yeah...having being handed THOSE lovely commpliments, is it any wonder I want to disintigrate into thin air?

All I can say is that I wish I could help it. I wish I didn't feel so bad all the time, I wish I had the ability to hear and absorb more things. I wish I had the physical energy to do my job better, and I WISH I had a car. I mean...these are all things that I want, so constantly throwing the fact that I don't have them does not help my situation in the least.

I said my goodbyes, punched out and started home.

On the way home I was in deep thought. I barely remember walking. It was more or less just moving, and staring into space, unfocused, and trapped in deep thought. Then I saw what looked like a dirty mop with a pink tongue. At first glance, I thought this, appearantly shitzu, was tied to the porch...that is until I watched him piss on the tire of a parked van.

He stood there looking at me innocently, pink tongue darting in and out of his black beard. He had boggled eyes, and the fact that he was runaway was exposed by a chewed wire-like leash lay coiled beneath his panting belly. This was a tell-tale sign that he belonged to someone in the close viscinity.

Predisposed with my mental anguish, I trekked by him with one goal in mind: Thanksgiving.

It was about that time that I heard the pitter patter of doggy feet on the sidewalk. He shadowed me up 15th street, all the way up North Avenue to West 14th, where I finally realized I had to find a home for this new found friend. The next hour and a half was spent walking around, going door to door with my homely (and stinky) companion, in hopes of finding his real family.

Eventually I became enlightened to the fact that the police station could find his owners IF he had a blair county tag with a serial number. It just so happened that he DID. After a brief car ride consisting of wet dog rolling on lap, I got him home, and put a smile on his owners face.

Back home I went, showered, and washed the build-up of grime I had accumulated through the days endeavors. Then it was over the river and through the woods (actually...up towards Houtzdale) to grandmas house for Thanksgiving dinner.

The food was great. In all honesty, todays turkey was probably the best turkey I've ever had. (Granted, I'm not really big on it to begin with.) I did some socializing, but there wasn't a lot. It was pretty boring, so for a short period I receded up into the game room where I strummed a guitar for part of the evening.

As the evening sky was ablaze, at that moment JUST before darkness, I took a walk behind the house where I sang to myself. I know one of the songs was No Doubts "Are You Happy Now?". Pretty good stuff.

An hour or so later we were on our way back down the mountain to good ol'Tyrone, where I met up with Wendy, and played scattergories. Though I'm normally a wiz at this game...I've been really having a hard time coming up with points in recent weeks thanks to a crippled mind. Having admitted that, I was glad to see the game end prematurely, and spend the rest of the time watching the end of the CMA's before finally coming home, sitting down, and talking here, to my blog.

A blog is the best friend anyone can have. It's personal perspective in plain black and white. It enlightens the writer, and sometimes, hopefully the reader. Afterall, you know what they say about walking a mile in someone elses shoes.

Love, hugs, and happiness to all.
xxx

LMAO!

2006-11-19T23:28:00.001-05:00

Love, hugs, and happiness to all.
xxx

Nature Outing

2006-11-18T15:07:00.000-05:00

I turned in my schedule "wish list" last night after also returning that easy-to-accidently-take-home neck alarm we all have to wear while working. I'm not really sure when that will be approved, dissaproved, and whatnot, but I also decreased my availability so that I only have to work 1st and 2nd shift. (Again.) I have two thirds coming up this week, and needless to say I'm not happy about that -- which is part of why I'm demoting. (Demoting means you can be pickier about your hours.)

So, that said...today was a decent day thus far. I awoke pretty late (but only because I was up late on the pc), scrambled out of bed, listened to some music, puffed a smoke and went for a hike up behind my home.

Deer activity has increased in the thin forest that runs through town, and curves behind my house. It is the rut (breeding season)and deer are seen at night on occassion ambling across our lawns, through our gardens, and eventually back up into the woods. From my porch you can occassionally hear the soft clicking of hooves as they scamper across the streets, more often than not heading toward the Noble's fruiting apple tree, or our black walnut.

If you're not looking for them, you may never see the deer. They are clever, and ghostlike in movement, sneaking through the brush and forest edges at the time of dimmest light so as not to be seen by humans. More often than not (unless you actually hike through the woods) the only proof of their presence is deer droppings, or hoofprints.

Today on my hike, I was not only looking for fabulous fungi, but for deer sign -- and more specifically the sign of the bucks themselves.

Last week I was sitting outside talking on my phone with Wendy, when all of the sudden I heard crashing coming down through the woods. As mom and dad pulled out from in front of the house their headlights beamed the noisy intruder, a dandy buck with a nice set of antlers. He is one of a few that frequent the area behind my house, including one MASSIVE buck that was hit up by the high school crossing a few weeks ago. The buck that was hit by a car had 10 total "points" or tines to his antler, with the tenth being a long downward curving spike that was completely non-typical of natural whitetailed deer antlers. My taxidermist friend is trying to purchase the buck from the game warden for a nice price as such a unique animal deserves to be immortalized on someones den wall.

During the rut, the most obvious sign that a BUCK is in the area is by his rubs and scrapes.

No, I'm not talking of skin disorders, but rather of the territorial/glandular markings a white-tailed buck leaves when he wants to have sex. Today, I got some photographs of the freshly peeled rubs.

A "rub" is little more than where a white-tailed buck has shredded the bark of some poor unsuspecting sapling. This activity serves a few purposes:

it strengthens a buck's neck muscles for up and coming "fights" with other bucks
it is a scent post, thanks to the glands on a bucks face
it is a sign for other bucks to see that there are "others" in the area

If a particular buck freqents the same area, an eventual "rub line" develops where there is a series of saplings marked at irregular intervals on the bucks daily (or nightly) route. Study the tree close enough, and you will see what direction the buck was facing, and subsequently moving when he rubbed the tree. Some hunters use this to their advantage, and hunt along rublines HOPING for a peak at the buck who is lurking in the area.

"Scrapes" are a bit different. I have no photographs of them yet, but for whatever reason I only found 1 behind the house today - and it was small. (Definitely not a specimen I'd like to use as an example!) Scrapes are, on occassion, occompanied by rubs. Little more than leaves and soil raked up into a bare batch of earth, the buck makes a scrape to communicate to the ladies that he is in the area, and lookin' for some lovin'! He scrapes the ground, rubs the tree, and licks any branches that are dangling (dangling branches are essential for a scrape). He marks them with pre-orbital scent glands, and to make the situation a bit stinkier...he literally pisses down his leg, rubbing his furry hock (tarsal glands) together to make a stinky scent post for local females to respond to. When a doe is in heat, she will hang around the scrape...urinate in it, deficate, whatever it might take to get the bucks attention.

---

So yeah... enough of that. Here are some more photos I took of the bleak brown November woods. Even in the brownishness of everything in the forest, there was beauty to be found.

Daily Ramble

2006-11-18T00:08:00.000-05:00

I handed the boss my typed letter requesting demotion, and she looked at me with crooked eyebrows and asked why. Honestly, that response was a bit surprising. It boggled my mind to think she had managed to scrape up the audacity to even SAY such a thing. It was like "Michael, what are you thinking!?" -- but the RELIEF I feel having done this has made me feel so much better. With a lighter load, I'm already making plans, and feeling a re-surge in personal power. I feel, slowly but surely, the better part of me coming back around and waking up from the coma I've been in for the past couple months.

So yeah...hi everyone. Michael is back.

---

Today was rather uneventful. I awoke sometime around ten o'clock in the morning. In my typical dishoveled state I shuffled downstairs lazily. Sporting my trademark green shorts (with tropical flora) and a fleece shirt, I ambled outside for a few infectious puffs of Marlboro Mild, contemplating my decision on demotion, and what up and coming plans I might have.

With lungs now freshly revamped with rat poison and other harmful chemicals, I departed from my porch perch, came back into my house, and sat on the computer until about 1:45 when I opted to get ready for ~~hell~~ work. I typed up my letters...all professional like. I typed up the demotion one, and one thanking my boss for giving me an early shift on Turkey Day, and another requesting that I finnish my Christmas Eve shift by 6 PM.

Upon my early-arrival, I ordered a buffalo chicken breast sandwhich, which just so happened to be made-to-order with a thin lining of pepperoni. I also grabbed an apple turnover before paying, and heading for the back room where I would feed and smoke until punch-in time.

I worked with employee K today. That was fun. Honestly, she's probably one of the best friends I have at work, despite recent cat fights we've had over my supervisory position.

In all honesty, I expected perhaps an "I told ya so" sort of situation with her, but she's been very atuned to my feelings. She tells me not to feel bad, offers support, and is glad I'm going back to "the old Michael".

In all, tonight flew by very quickly. It was disturbingly busy with the playoff football games going on in town. Our small country bumpkin football team is whomping everyones ass, and tonight, it was Forest Hills who was destroyed 40 to 22. We are an undefeated AA high school team who is destroying AAA teams with the untmost ease. Things will start to get a bit trickier though come time to play the city boys from around Pittsburgh.

The lines snaked around the 'coffee island', and the hot chocolate/cappucino machines had to be filled just frequently enough to be annoying. They were forever clogging, or running out of powder due to overuse. I kept coffee going, and boy was it ever selling! Gas pumps were full of cars, and lines were full of disgruntled Forest Hill fans.

I got a 15 minute break..just long enough to woof down a jalapeno pretzel, cherry turnover (ok, i'm a turnover addict), and cigarette.

The lines continued, and I ended up staying 10 or 15 minutes after ten just to help clear the lines of cold and hungry football fans out of the store. It was kind of fun.

After I punched out, I crawled into Wendy's car (my personal taxi) and we went to her house, talked about celebrity gossip, smoked, and eventually left for the store I work where an array of regulars made small talk in the parking lot with me.

I returned my cursed necklace-alarm, and turned in my "Schedule Wish List" before finally returning to my pad to hang out, and chill out with some music. And so, here I am.

I'm going to see about throwing another pictionary party (jello-shots included) very soon. Perhaps this weekend.

Love, hugs, and happiness to all.
xxx

Taking Life Back

2006-11-17T13:42:00.001-05:00

Getting my old spark back is a large part of todays goal. I have written my manager a letter asking for demotion. It will be the first step toward recovery. I am slowly but surely eliminating all the stresses and anxieties, and regaining an ultimate vision of where I want to go, and who I want to be.

There for a minute, I lost sight of my DREAMS. I feel better already having done this. I'll keep you posted.

Love, hugs, and happiness to all.
xxx

Gwen Stefani: Wind It Up

2006-11-14T16:44:00.000-05:00

Let's talk about Gwen, because afterall, it is her that makes me happy. Or more specifically, the first single and video, "Wind It Up".

To begin with, if you hated Hollaback Girl, don't even bother trying to like this one. That in mind, if you hated Hollaback Girl, but like yodeling (yeah, I said it) or The Sound Of Music, you might want to check out her video below afterall. There are many 'hollabacks' to this well-known musical in both the yodeling parts, and symphonic soundtrack.

Having taken those direct samples from Sound of Music, Gwen and The Neptunes have come up with another hot club track. Though the verses are almost annoyingly unmusical, they are surprisingly catchy - and she will undoubtedly make a successful return to disc jockeys CD cases with this rhythmic single.

"When you hear the bass bang, realize it calls your name. Let the beat wind you up and don't stop till your time is up."

I have a feeling however that just as with Love Angel Music Baby, the best songs will remain unreleased. I've heard some of the other songs, and this album is much more modern sounding than the retro LAMB. They're really good songs though.

In anycase, one cannot say that Wind It Up is a direct copy of Hollaback Girl. It's not anyone trying to "make hollabackgirl II". Well...perhaps in it's release as a single...but reality is, this song was written and recorded before Hollaback Girl was even a hit, so how could they have known?

While Fergie (of black eyed peas) has spent the past few months trying to rip Gwen's style in her OWN solo effort, I don't think she expected a second solo album from Stefani. It's ok Fergie...just hand the "I'm a white girl who's really funky" crown back to Gwen, and we'll forget you ever tried.

Blah

2006-11-13T22:49:00.000-05:00

I wasn't sure what to write about tonight, but at the same time, I knew I wanted to write.

The past few days activities:

smoking way too much
got drunk saturday night
JAWS (both movie, and video game for PS2)
getting fat, junk food, hotwings, cheese, meat
pictionary, scattergories

Can anyone say blah? I have no energy, and it's my fault.

Oh yeah....I managed to get first shift on Thanksgiving Day. That means unlike years past, I'll actually get to enjoy the WHOLE HOLIDAY of THANKSGIVING this year! I'm pretty pumped about that.

Off to bed.

Love, hugs, and happiness to all.
xxx

Wind Me Up

2006-11-11T00:40:00.000-05:00

It's nearly one o'clock in the morning and my thirteen year old brother is on the porch talking to God knows who about God knows what. Sitting here, it's hard for me to fathom the speed with which his voice has changed. He's gone from toddler with red curls, to tall lanky teenager with a cracking voice and armpit hair. In fact, this is the first time I've noticed that he is, officially, a teenager.

Things on the homefront have been, well, virtually non-existant. I've been spending so much time wrapped up in work, and running around with my friends that I only seem to sleep here in between activities. It's draining, it really truly is, which is why I'm definitely looking forward to my vacation time, and some quality one on one with mother nature.

Dipping in and out of depression, I've been ambling through life as best I can for the moment. One thing that helps is looking nice. If I dress up in my new clothes (I love Kohl's by the way), it makes me feel attractive, and sexually appealing. If I am that...then I am happier with myself. But trust me, on my down days...shorts, and a fleece pullover are all I put on, sometimes wearing dress shoes without sox as a temporary fix when I go outside to have a smoke. (A filthy habit which I need to stop.)

-----

I finnally grabbed the double-disc Hysteria album, which I might add was a pain in the ass to locate! Finally, after searching K-mart, and Walmart, I found it at Best Buy, with only ONE on the shelf. I later read about the "issues" they were having on shipping the disc, etc.

So yeah, I love the design, the photography, the new liner notes, and the whole new visual aspect of the album down to the discs. From the audio point of view, Hysteria is now officially the BEST sounding Def Leppard album, hands down. Blasted on the stereo, it's almost like rediscovering the album. It sounds awesome, and it wasn't long before I remembered how great Don't Shoot Shotgun was, and why.

Oh yeah -- I also repurchased Pyromania. Though not digitally remastered, I bought this one because I simply had destroyed the previous disc I had. Pyromania to me, is "Comin Under Fire". That's probably, along with Too Late for Love, and Billy's Got a Gun, my favorite song on the disc. Something about the testosterone pumped backing vocals on this song (rather than the thin bv's of Photograph) turns me on. Not in a...um...erection sort of way, but rather, in a lover-of-rock kind of way.

Now it's all about waiting for a new studio album. Hopefully it'll be a lot ballsier, and testosterone driven than say...Let Me Be the One? Geesh.

---

So as previously stated, Gwen Stefani has a new album coming out December 5th. Triple platinum YAY! The new single "Wind It Up" is already one of the most popular downloads on iTunes this week, according to 'some sources'.

"Wind It Up"...hmmm. I'm not sure how to feel about this "song". I use "song" loosely, because much like the ever-popular Hollaback Girl, the vocals, though catchy, are not actually good vocals. It's definitely music. Music with cheerleader like chanting. The percussion is absolutely infectious, and symptoms are often swaying hips or tapping foot. Gwen yodels, which is bizarre within itself and there are samples taken directly from "The Sound of Music" on the song. It's more like...um...talking right along with the beat. When I first heard the song, I didn't like it. Then, 3, 4, and ok....10 listens into it, I found myself dancing around to it, and discovering little catchy things that I hadn't noticed on the first listen.

The video is awesome. (Click link, and play video on right hand side of her website to view.) Again with the Sound of Music theme. Gwen Stefani, as a nun, yodeling on a fake mountain top with plastic goats? Say no more! It's funny, light hearted, and honestly, so damn stupid that it's cool. It is, officially, the Hollaback Girl II for Gwen Stefani.

Admittingly though, as fun to DANCE to as these kind of talentless rap-like pop songs are...it is "Orange County Girl" and "4 In the Morning" that I am REALLY looking forward to. Why? Well for starters Gwen actually sings. "4 In the Morning" I've only heard samples of, but it's a mid-tempo song that sounds something a lot like No Doubt would do. (That's probably because it was produced by ND bass player Tony Kanal, and Gwen.)

So yeah...she's feeling pretty selfish about releasing this album, but most of the songs were just scraps left over from Love Angel Music Baby. After a few singles and another tour, she's going to wrap up the next NO DOUBT album and they are setting off on a world-wide tour.

WOOOOOOO HOOO!

That'll be nice. I love your new stuff Gwen, but I really need some new No Doubt.

Love, hugs, and happiness to all.
xxx

Shop! Shop! Till ya Drop!

2006-11-10T00:26:00.000-05:00

So, I've got a good bit of money saved up for a downpayment on a car, though I did splurge a bit this week:

To begin with, I got new contacts. I had to pay for the exam, plus the contacts, which added up to around $123. This price isn't bad considering I now have a supply of contacts that will last for at LEAST six months. It was a must though, as I've been wearing this last monthly pair for about...uh...three months.

The trip to the eyedoctor (Walmart) was interesting. I was told that I sleep with my eyes 'open'. Not completely open like some godforsaken corpse, but rather, with just a hair of a crack in my eyelids, enough to dry my eyes and cause some irritation. She then recommended some eye ointment which...I think I'll pass on! The idea of having, and applying a vaseline-like ointment to my eyeballs directly gives me the heebeejeebees.

Aside from that essential purchase, I bought some new shirts at the new mall they put in. I now have a fresh line-up of clothing to dip back into the dating world...eventually. Not yet though. Most of what I got were waffle-style long sleeve shirts, and a few sweaters with multicolor diamond patterns on the front. Pretty sharp. I need to pick up where I left off in the realm of artistic careers, and get this flippin' artwork submitted.

---

So yeah...I've been working a lot. Fun, fun, fun.

There was more to report...but I guess we'll have to wait.

Love, hugs, and happiness to all.
xxx

New Music > Gwenny Gwen Gwen

2006-11-04T01:24:00.000-05:00

12/5/06

"Just mastered and finished the record yesterday. It's been a crazy race to get it out for you guys before Christmas. It's very exciting and better than I imagined it could be. Wind it up, it's Yummy time! "

Can't wait, even though I don't care as MUCH for her new song Wind It Up. I have sampled a few others though which are VERY cool. A favorite of mine being "Orange County Girl".