Wednesday, January 25, 2006


You know, my hesitation on writing about him has been pretty obvious. I've been playing the field rather conservatively, because I've become infamous for setting myself for grandiose failures before things ever get off the ground. I guess you could say that I quickly grew tired of having egg on my face. But truth be told, I am finding myself falling for someone, and as hard as I try not to become attached, I feel myself growing roots to him, and yearning to be part of his world. I try so hard not to be silly, or naive about it...but I can't help it.

His independence is so admirable, essentially on his own since his mid-teens, he is total opposite of me in that respect. He has the independence that I strive for. When we talk, we talk deeply, openly, & honestly...something I never had. I miss him so much when he's not around, and the feelings are mutual; something else I never had.

I guess I'm taking a risk here...kind of bringing him into the picture to you all. I mean, all it would take is a severe change of situation for me to have the proverbial egg on my face again. But I guess my heart is saying it's okay this time. Afterall, nothing ventured, nothing gained.

So, it is without further hesitation, that I introduce you all to Zach.

Look at that smile!

With all the downright shitty experiences I've had with the gay community thus far, Zach has been undoubtedly a breath of fresh air in my stale life.

Aside from georgous looks, and 6'4" of amazing personality, Zach and I hit it off way better than either of us had expected to. As previously stated, he's already met a lot of my friends, which spoke volumes to me about what his intentions were (or were not). I tried to hold back feelings in case I didn't get a second date, but we planned on the second one almost immediately. The second date was such a good time.

He pulled up to my house around noon, and we set off for B-town. The conversation is always great with Zach. I like being open, and I've never found a guy who could be like that, and just talk about stuff. Zach is the first.


Zach has amazing hazel eyes, that seem to smile at you when you look into them. But, with my stomach still tied in a knot, I found it hard to do that.

We arrived at his apartment. I'd never been there before, but it was cozy and lived in by someone who was normal, and not overly anal about everything. (Thank God.) We sat on the couch together, rather nervously, and watched tidbits of a movie or two before I suggested a walk to the park.

In B-town, there is a georgous park in which a spring feed creek flows, filled with georgous trout, and flocks of ducks.

Before I knew it, I was walking in the park with him. We talked about the architecture of B-town. I found it to be a very historic town, filled with victorian architecture. It almost has a European feel to it. I talked to him about the ducks, and the trout. As we walked around the park, we stepped down under the bridge that stretched over the creek. He had a smoke, and a pair of mallards came over to see us.

Then, right in front of us, the male began courting the female. I explained the process to him, and then they began mating right in front of us!

Then the idea crossed my mind...perhaps I should try bobbing MY head, and splashing around in the water to get a similar result? HA!

In all seriousness though, I definitely wasn't ready for that yet, but I was definitely yearning for a kiss. Something about him poised there beside me, with a cig in hand, was extremely sexy. I just wanted to kiss him, right there, under the bridge.

After awhile of meandering around the park, I talked to him about the trout that were almost swarming in the water. Brook trout, rainbows, brown trout, and bright orange palamino rainbows.

I'll bring my camera next time.

So, with that we were off to eat at the resturant where he works. I was both anxious, and nervous about meeting his friends. But it ended with good results.

I loved them, seriously. It was great how they came over and commented on my drawings on the paper table covering...and how they made me feel welcome.

I later found out that they were giving Zach a thumbs up behind my back, and had said some really nice things about me.

After dinner, we were stuffed, so it was back to his apartment. He laid down on his bed, (which sexily enough lays on the floor) and invited me over to watch Pretty Woman.

I crawled behind him, and wrapped my arms around him. My heart pounded nervously, but it felt so good to have him in my arms.

Eventually, I kissed his cheek, and when he turned again, I finally got that first kiss from him. It was amazing.

What happened from there was little more than snuggling and kissing. And for the first time, there was no pressure on me to do anything. We were content with snuggling and kissing. It was the best time ever.

Kissing was so fun too. Haha...I love how he says I'm such an amazing kisser. It made me feel really good, and it just made me want to kiss him more and more.

After awhile, we set off for his friend Erin's. She is gay too, and is so not the flannel/ballcap lesbian. She was really cool, as were the rest of Zach's friends that night (including the adorable dog "The Wiz") who kept resting his chin on my knee.

Not long after we arrived, Zach took me home, as I had to work the next morning. We really, really are hitting it off. He's so fun to talk to. We can be bored together, and yet totally have fun.

I'll keep you posted, and will hopefully have some new pictures of us, together, when we hang out the next time. I miss him so much already, he is definitely motivation for a car.


Isn't he fucking adorable?

Peace, love, and hugs to all you punker sluts.