Tuesday, March 28, 2006

Wahlberg 2.0

They don't call it a crush for nothing.

In my vast history of crushes, I know that things never work out. But the fact is, for me, very few of my crushes have ever gone away totally. Sure, over the years all the straight guys I've liked have dissipated into nothingness with little to no communication with me, but those feelings have still remained with a few individuals.

I guess that's what scares me about this person I've been crushing on for quite some time. I don't want to go through the world of crushes again, and have to deal with all these funky feelings, particularly when I'm well aware that I'll never, ever, ever, get this guy -- even though he's even gay.

"You're poison runnin' through my veins."

When he comes in the store when I'm working, I just don't know what to do with myself. Suddenly, I go about everything wrong...I can't speak right...I can't think right....I become a fumbled mess.

Not only that, but wearing a uniform when someone hot is near you is equated in my mind to wearing a damned dunce cap.

People tell me he's trouble...like a bad poison that everyone wants, but only few can withstand.

"I wanna kiss you but I want it too much. I wanna taste you but your lips are bitter with poison."

I don't know why I even consider. He's beautiful...far too beautiful for a gap-toothed dweeb like myself. Even with the warnings I've been given, I am attracted to him like a moth to a bug zapper.

"I wanna love you but I better not touch."

Anyway....I'll shut up now before this person stumbles on my myspace and figures it all out, causing me extreme embarrassment.

Today is one of those days where I'm just gonna conform and go into work mode. I've got more hours this week, and although I don't wanna go...I know it's necessary.

So, now deploying into "mindless- slave - of - the - man" mode. No fighting it...maybe I'll see my crush tonight.