Wednesday, July 05, 2006

Before-Bed Bitching

Independence Day has come and gone.

I worked a bit today, making 5 hours worth of time and a half on top of my 40 hour work week. The back and forth swappings of days and nights has penetrated my very being, and taken me from night owl, to someone who can't even keep awake long enough to check his mail after work.

After work, I headed over to a gathering of people who I was mildly familiar with, but not quite comfortable around. Anymore I feel like such an outcast in places once familiar to me, and it's such a pain in the neck to feel like it's not okay to be who you are around certain people. Long story short, some kids have been hanging around my friends house due to some unforseen circumstances with my friends bf, and I'm not sure they're quite "mature" enough to handle the fact that I'm gay.

I draw this conclusion mainly on commentary, and brave remarks made in my presence.

These people around me make me uncomfortable. I just don't like it. It's disrupting my routine, and the rituals between my friends bf, my friend, and myself.

The fucking art show is coming SO SOON and I'm so unprepared that I could literally bawl.

With my neck having been in so much pain, and working full time, I haven't had the energy or ability to pick up a pen and finnish my artwork.


I have a feeling I'll pull through...but I just feel that with all this shit, I'm going to collapse. I only have myself to blame though.

There's some other things too that I can't really talk about in regard to the homefront that have also been causing problems.

There are things I should be doing, that I simply don't have time to do. There are things that I don't have time to do, but keep on doing. Moreover, there are things I want to do, but don't need to do, and things I need to do, but probably won't be able to do, even though I really HAVE to do them.


A knife full of butter can only spread so thin across a given piece of toast!

Thank God I have a day off coming up soon. I promise I'll be happier when that day comes. I promise.