Monday, February 20, 2006

Today Is The Day

Today is the day. In a few hours I will be taking Toby to the vets to be put to sleep. Fourteen and a half years of friendship is so hard to get over.

I will miss him sleeping with me. I will miss him begging to drink water out of the bathtub. I will miss him fetching orange ear plugs. I will miss him standing by my face while I slept, pressing his chest against the side of my face, as if to get as close as possible.

I will miss his chirps at birds outside the window. I will the sound of the door being pushed open by his head at night to get into my room.

I will miss him so much, but I must let him go.

Without looking at him, the vet says it sounds as though he has a horrible ear infection, possibly brought on by severe depression caused by Gabby's death last week.

Disorientation, lack of appetite, and weakness are all signs.

There is a miniscule chance that he will survive, but I'm trying not to get my hopes up. It would probably be best for him to go.

Peace and love to all.