So, it's really late (2:22AM) and I'm completely drained after a day of extreme sensitivity. I've been basically spending my day wondering, if, and when the divorce will occur. I'm left wondering to myself, will dad leave? Will I be stuck in this sticky situation forever? Or will things iron out smoothly? It's a long story, and I won't bore you (or embarrass myself) with the petty details, but I'll give you a brief rundown:
Mom and dad are having marital problems, and possibly, a mid-life crisis!
Could their timing be any worse? Now is not the time to be selfish! Dad has made some comments that lead me to believe he has potential to leave. They both [obviously] feel that the marriage is not doing so well, but both are still holding out for a) financial stability to LEAVE one another, or b) a revival of love for one another. I guess it all depends which comes first.
Those tidbits aside, I had a bland day at work, which by the last couple of hours had turned awry. A sea of crazy thoughts is swirling inside this head of mine, and it's all coming at me so quickly. I don't even know what to think, or plan for.
If one good thing came from this day, it was eating good.
Yesterday I drank all water, and lots of it, plus had a nutrigrain bar, an apple, and a low carb turkey sandwhich for lunch, and a low carb ham sandwhich for supper. Having said that, I ruined it all by eating some fritos and a cheese stick for a snack after work. Still, compartively, I've been doing really well on this eating well thing. I don't want to speak to soon...but I'm getting into the groove of eating good. I noticed that since I haven't hogged out on food in a couple days, that I can deal with addiction better. It's all psychological for me.
- drank only water for the past two days [ and lots of it ]
- breakfast - one bowl of scrambled eggs, no butter
- snack - banana, and dainty blueberry granola bar
- supper - low carb turkey sandwhich with honey mustard [ low carb bagel ]
- snack - beef jerky
Oh yeah, and for those who aren't trying to lose weight, order some cow tails. (This link actually works!)