Tuesday, June 19, 2007

> life

Calories Burned: 300 today + 565 yesterday

So after a two day break from the gym (due to a work/gym schedule conflict over thwe weekend)I went up and buzzed around for a few hours Monday, lifting and then burning 565 calories on the cardio equipment. Today however, I didn't fare as well.

Not a morning person, I woke up in my typical "don't talk to me" mode. To add to the emotion, my father was being a prick, and my mom rather naggy. Realizing a situation gone sour, I felt obligated to hurry to the gym before I had to go to work and get in my daily workout.


By the time I got there and hopped on the recumbant bike, I could feel extra burn in my leg muscles, and just seemed tired. Tired as in...I wanted to curl up and sleep some more. The burn ensued, and I completed my 20 minute rolling hills program before doing some ab crunches. After the abs, I shuffled over to the elliptical and half-heartedly engaged in the weight-loss program, of which I only did about 15 minutes worth. I had no motivation, no energy, and was in the wrong frame of mind.

Giving up on that, I headed over to the recumbant bike again, and tried reading a magazine simultaneously.

Didn't work.

My water exploded when I attempted to open it (it was frozen) and I simply didn't want to be there today. So, I said fuck it. I stopped at about 300 calories burned, and figured I'd burn the remainder at work tonight doing trash and flitting around like the worker bee I am. So, I left. Dissapointed in myself. But too tired to really fight the whole idea.


So my grandma comes into the house, with my grandfather.

Some of you know the story of how he's turned abusive in recent years. He's going crazy, and we all know it. Some of us are still in denial, but ever since he had cancer, things are not the same with him.

For a short period last year, we had him put away for a psychiatric evaluation. They let him out eventually, and my grandma (who seems to be bent on sticking by his side despite his hatefulness, and abusive behavior) went right back to living with him.

Well today...yeah...she comes in....and there's bruises on her arm. A big black and blue lump, and a burn. He slammed her against the stove. Now, our local hospital has records of her being abused by him, and if she goes back he'll be in big trouble. (Good for'em.)

So now everyone is like...what the fuck are we going to do now? It's constant turmoil in this family anymore. No peace. And then when we take action, my grandmother returns to the situation putting MORE stress on everyone.

Her reasoning? Because she feels like she's abandoning her sick husband.

I can remember a day when there was total love in the family. You know...the days when I didn't wake up wondering if my grandma wasn't going to be found beaten to death.