Wednesday, December 14, 2005


Tomorrow Amanda and I will be going to a nearby town to take some pictures, and do a little shopping. It could be an interesting entry, provided the upcoming whopper of a snowstorm doesn't prevent us from going. The weather man is calling for 4-8" of the fluffy white stuff by tomorrow night. If his timing is right, we should be pretty much done by the time the snow really hits.

I'm also feeling a little weird right now. The Hot Shot situation, though still friendly faced, seems to have taken a bizarre twist, and I'm left standing with arms open, not knowing where we're going. I'm conversing with him now, via instant message.

What scares me is the declaration that he thinks he's turned off of trying to feel for someone, because he's been hurt in the past. It's that, even though I'm "hot", the prospect of a relationship is fucking with his mind.

All this is news to me, as from the start he told me he was LOOKING for a relationship. Perhaps we didn't click? Perhaps he just needs some time to think?

All I know is: ouch.

So here we are, in deep conversation. And now the mission becomes convincing him that he can trust me, meanwhile my mind has to wonder if this wasn't in his plan by plan the entire time.

Thankfully, if worst comes to worst, I haven't invested that much in this. (Certainly not as much as i could've on that infamous night.)

Keep your fingers crossed for me please? This "I've been hurt in the past" card seems all to popular, and my worst fear is that it's used mainly by those who only want a screw, and NOT a relationship.

Please oh please let it not be true.

Peace and love to all.