Sunday, July 09, 2006

Dreams, Ghosts, And Life

Did you ever have a dream that just completely shook you up to the point that you woke up in tears?

This morning I woke up after dreaming that my mother and my brother were going to be buried, having been killed by some unknown incident. Oddly enough, this is the second dream I've had of my mom and brother dying, together. Coincidentally, in both dreams they were being buried in a glass casket.

In any case, in last night dreams I remember someone saying that mom wanted to be buried with me too, and that I should probably die soon to fulfill her wish, or some crap like that. Kind of silly I guess, but it wasn't the least bit funny at the time! I woke up disgruntled and refused to talk because I just kept rerunning the dream in my head over and over.


Dad had a bit of a spooky incident last night, one of many that seem to be occuring with our house lately. He was in the basement working on his turkey calls so intently, that he never noticed it get dark yesterday. My was the only person in the house at the time, as my brother was spending the night at a friends and I worked until midnight.

In any case, he heard drums coming from upstairs. Not NORMAL rock band drums, but like...tribal drums. He kept hearing it, even as he came up from the basement and wandered around in the dark rooms. He couldn't quite place where it was.

Naturally, he freaked and began flicking the lights on. When all the lights were on, the drumming stopped.

He seemed pretty shaken up about it when I got home. He can't for the life of him figure it out, because, as he thought, he WAS the only person in the house! Nobody was in the house, so unless my dad has just gone completely insane, I'd love to know the logical explaination for the drums.


Sometimes a thought or idea pops into my head that completely changes the way I look at a given situation. Today, I had one of those very moments.

While cutting the grass (reluctantly), I began thinking about all the pressures that weigh down on me this month, and how I'm ever going to get it all done. The number one thing of course, is making the deadline for my artshow. It's been really causing a lot of stress on me, and I even feel the pressure of it in various dreams I've had this past week.

As I chopped the grass, I basically gave myself a mental beating. Why am I such a procrastinator? I could've had this shit done a long time ago, but never did. I call myself an artist? Then I remembered Ned Smith.

For whatever reason, an excerpt from a book about Ned popped into my mind. It talked about how Ned often had to "pull an all-nighter" at the eisel to get things accomplished. It explained his first experiences with deadline art, and I guess I've just begun to experience that lesson for this first time this year.

So basically, a lot of the pressure I was feeling deflated from within me like a leaking balloon. I mean, the pressure is still there, but I know that I have control, and that this is just one more lesson for me.

I have a feeling I'm going to be running close to deadlines a lot in my future career.

Well, off to work. Just a couple more days and I have two days off in a row! WOO HOO!